Whitchurch 2nd XI v BCC 2nd XI - 12th May 2018 - A Batstone Epic

Post date: May 18, 2018 8:01:54 PM

The one where we got on the weeks cricket honours board…probably.

Ok first away game of the season, and the usual, ‘can somebody give me a lift from the Kwikymart in Oakie’ calls all dealt with, we trundled off to that lovely little ground in Whitchurch that is home to the Witchurch Wayfarers/Wanderers/Whatevers. Lets just agree to call them Witchurch.

Some of us that knew where we were going so went straight to the ground … hold on this is Tavistock CCs ground…bugger wtf is Whitchurch then…where’s me sat nav. Oh its just around the corner. Ideal.

Following on from Lee Justons gregarious provision of a case of bluberry cider last week, the team turned up with both a barrel of Cider (courtesy R. Lee – he is fitting in well isn’t he !!) and a case of the same from Steve B. on a sunny day in Whitchurch does it get better?!

Well actually Whitchurch were a bit grumpy about it as they have their own bar so a few pointed remarks were made. Once, twice, lord knows how many times…

So what were we here for again?…oh yeah…Cricket.

LJ returned to his regular form by losing the toss and we were inserted. ‘Pad up lads. Batstone 1 and Shaw 2 please…etc ’ as it transpires Whitters only had 9 to start, which was to grow to 10 within an over or so.

Whatever we do, lets not repeat last week. Was the call as the cider swilling Briddy team waved off their heros Tim and Steve.

Two overs of circumspect batting saw two maidens being bowled. One single off the next over and we were on our way. Tim Shaw started to work the ball around and peppered it with some big shots. The 50 came up in 13 overs…good progress we thought in the middle. Lets just see these two off and see what else they have was the plan. First change came at the 16th over, Tim having smote their opening bowler for a couple of 6’s in his previous over ( the score book doesn’t quite say that, but that’s how I recall it…I was there, scorebooks are things of fiction as well you know).

Then the flood gates opened. 100 came up in the 16th over. Next it was 150 in the 24th. Whitchurch were starting to flag and grump at each other. Cheers from the boundary every time Batstone hit the ball was met with grumps from Tim… ‘they never do that for me’… and grumps from Whitchurch ‘your lads are enjoying the beer you brought …whats wrong with our beer’ .

Tim Shaw bulldozed his way through a chanceless 100 at some point. More Cheers !!!

The opening partnership was finally broken at 189, when Tim called Steve for a quick single. Mark Butler at square leg …’keep going steve’ …that’s very kind Mark ...we are doing well aren’t we…No…I mean keep going to the pavilion mate you are run out !’

Ian J was next to the crease and more plunder ensued putting the ball over the fence as often as he hit it for a quick fire 19. Buzz (19) and LJ (16) as Tim Shaw relentlessly went through his 150…more cheers from the, by now cider soaked boundary.

Tim eventually perished on 154 in the last over. 5 balls short of carrying his bat …brilliant Knock!!.Innings closed on 283 – 4.

Ok so now we have a team half cut and looking to close out the game.

At the break Lee Jutson announced that he was out for the next 4 weeks as he needs eye operations because he cant see… to be met with many belly laughs!

That explains your batting. That explains your bowling. That explains why you cant find your way to the bar for your round….etc and other such abuse. ( I can write this with no fear of being dropped as he will not be able to read this of course !)

During the break we also finished off the cider barrel … more moaning about not buying their beer from Whitchurch.

So the second innings…Whitchurch basically blocked for … well every ball to be honest.

Bomber took two fer nowt . LJ took one fer nowt and any possibility of a proper go at our target from the Whitchurch whatevers withered and died.

With the positive batting positively dried up, Joppers came on with his box of tricks and bowled well but too good, and no interest from the batsmen. Mark Butler had a go with his left arm pace(ish)… again not a nibble.

With the game meandering into the 22nd over and the score just through 50 on comes the Valance! Immediately the game was afoot. Properly tempted by Ebbs wobblers their #5 bat swipes at one. The ball is in the air …Ryan Lee sprints 40 yards to take a fully diving rolling catch. ‘F** me that bloke has been asleep all day and he takes a catch like that’ says their # 5. The dam was broached !

I seem to recall there was another whine about not buying their beer as he walked off.

Ebbs takes a second wicket and Briddy are starting to look for the win.

Jack Shaw enter the ring and bowls a tidy three over spell for 11.

Then LJ unleashed Hell from the bottom end. Ryan Lee for his first bowl in the league.

Umpire to bowler …’ whats your action?’ Ryan …’ dunno, I am gonna do that boi’ . Umpire to bower ‘over the wicket ?’ Ryan ‘dunno, that side boi’ …Umpire to batsman…’ I think he is going to bowl right arm around’ !

Pace and bounce and unexpected accuracy and Ryan takes 3 wickets for 6 off two !! Get in!!.

Now we are in the hunt …last wicket and we just cannot take it.

LJ finally turns to Steve B and says come on stevo you chuntered on about not being bowled for so long lets see what you can do…4 balls later. And following a totally un neccesary celebration SB bowls their final wicket with a spitting Cobra of a delivery.

Whitchurch Whatevers all out for …cant be bothered to look… as we don’t really care.

And so to the bar… we did eventually buy some beer from the Whitchurch bar. Mainly to stop the whining.

But on a sunny day somewhere outside of Tavistock, after a fun days cricket, and when we probably got on that crappy ‘ this weeks cricket honours board’ for Tims cracking Knock, a 189 run opening stand and a threefer from Ryan ……….why the F** wouldn’t you

As we wandered off home to our home BBQs in the sun, we left them wondering how good must Stoke Gabriel be to have beaten them that convincingly last week. We didn’t help them….Playing for Bridestowe 2’

it’s a gift and a curse … and we have to bear it!