I am the way and the truth and the life...

By now, I must say, after and instead of the whole 'spiritual' quest, I am ready to just have a nice and simple life someplace, with a (my) loving partner, maybe even make a baby :D.....I am quite done with this story....I wrote it all down to pass on for those in need of hearing it...but for myself....I just wanna breathe and be...play like a child, create and try stuff out without too much thinking and/or planning.....in total trust of the 'mother-father-god-source' within...which provides all....

As it was Easter.....well....I always feel very connected to Jesus' story....the burden/cross/earth experience he carried, how he was flocked and ridiculed, the demons he fought in the desert...I feel I did the same....All these years of ascending I fought the ancient earth-demons (ego-energies), a lifetime, alone in my empty desert (I live pretty much as a total recluse, I just couldn't bare any more outside stimulants coming in anyway, having my hands full already!)...and prevailed....

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." Beware of men; for they will deliver you up to councils, and flog you in their synagogues and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear testimony before them and the Gentiles. When they deliver you up, do not be anxious about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Brother will deliver up brother to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next; for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel, before the Son of man comes.

None of this to be taken too literally of course :)

Free, clear and detached I am now...and all ready for my resurrection...a new and different life beyond the cross...Turning 43 on the 14th of April, entering my 44th earth-year...well….I consider this my re-birthday...

I was born a Spring/Easter child for a reason you know, and also being born under the fierce trail blazing warrior sign of Aries sure was no coincidence. The first sign of the Zodiac, the one that pioneers, goes ahead and preceeds all others, making things happen, getting the job done. This baby chick is ready to hatch, break out of the egg she was in for so many years, only vaguely aware of the echoes of an outside world. Last bits are always hardest, as one is so tired form picking away at the shell for so long...almost there though!

When Jesus died, so it was written, the veils of the temple tore…And so it was….As we were dying to our old selves through the ascension process, and excavating our core, digging ourselves a path back to our hearts that was hidden underneath all the old energy rubble, the apocalypse took place (apocalypse is Greek and means: ‘the lifting of the veil’). We, through our unwavering trust in higher love, relentless efforts and perseverance, lifted the veil…and now there is no place left for old energy to hide. It is now all out there in the open, for all to see…and heal.

In the Jewish Easter-tradition they eat bitter herbs on Easter to remind themselves of their bitter enslavement in Egypt...this is a symbolic story...Egypt stands for the ego that wants to control, is unwilling to let go, until it is made to, being/severely plagued/pressured....The people of Israel stand for God/Spirit...The exodus out of ego-enslavement symbolizes the freeing of the Spirit...The 40 years in the desert stands for the trial, the quest to regain trust in the God-self, for triumphing over the illusion (splitting open of the sea, clearing a path), trusting what is in ones heart even if it cannot see....Manna from heaven stands for love and all good things divinely coming in to support you from the most unexpected corners, if only you get out of the way, don't doubt, and allow...The story of the golden calf shows how one does not need rituals and worship idols/gods/items (the material) outside of oneself...WE are the god we sought after....we need not humble down to, idolize or be governed by anyone....Peace comes from within...

Moses in that story never entered the Promised Land himself, after showing others the way…he didn’t need to. As I noticed, one does not need/want for anything after ascending. The ego wanting has simply ceased to be. The Promised Land is right here, right now, inside of me. There is no more fear or worry, and although I fantasize about what would be nice to have/do/experience in my life, it is no must-have.

The importance is gone...It is now somewhat strange to me, watching the world around me make everything so big and important...It simply doesn't matter people...it does not matter.

I watched ‘Ben Hur’ and ‘The ten commandments’ with Charlton Heston over Easter. The Germans just love broadcasting those old epic spectacle movies every year over the Easter holidays :)

(That’s US btw, we’re Moses…and Jesus/the Christ as well… We are the great cleansing flood that washed away all the ‘sins’ of mankind …Jesus said: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Humanity and Earth would never be able to eventually find a path to peace, if we hadn’t been willing to go ahead, clear/blaze free the trail, carry the cross, and show them the way. Through us, the now purified and Christed ones, others can also come/find to the God inside…All they need do is throw off their self-inflicted/-created burdens. They can now follow in our foot prints. We already removed the blocks for them, by clearing the Earth grid of old energy. Everything is already up in the air now, as old ego energy has no way of anchoring itself back inside the Earth anymore, which is why there is so much anxiety and dark stuff (among other things, the rape and abuse of many women -female energy-, and children – original innocence energy-) going on in the outside world right now, the old has lost its footing, and is scared shitless, lashing out, there is no place to hide anymore. There is no other way of getting there than doing the work, letting go, walking through the fire, and the forge (even if being whipped, tortured and crucified is part of the ‘sacrifice’…..Walking on water means (allowing) to be carried by Spirit…)

I also noticed the other day how little I care about what people think about me. I am aware the small neighbourhood here is boggled and curious about my life, and wonders how I get by, and why I don’t do much of anything…and I just don’t care. I am beyond all that.

Needless to say, the Israelites/Jews in ‘real life’, amongst many other people on this Earth, are still very much enslaved. We all make our own beds. The currently newly arising conflict with North-Korea for instance, is a clear sign of healing coming up…Unifying North (feminine) and South (masculine)…Maybe through more violence, maybe not…Same in Ireland and elsewhere. Old situations coming up to (finally) be cleared/solved/healed. Takes time though.

Just a week or so ago there was this ascension whirl of energies, and I felt a huge dark cloud of depression and despair that got released from within and on the Earth and humanity coming up, like I have soooo many times before….I felt its pulling, as it wants/needs to take everything with it that is of matching vibration, like a tornado sucking everything up that isn’t solidly anchored in.

These energy whirls were never much fun, and on the 12-21-2012 it was so huge, and lasted so long, that there was no withstanding it, it vacuumed/centrifuged the last tiny particles of old energy out of me, leaving me totally exhausted and depleted for months thereafter. (All I could do during these last months was eat little bits, sleep, watch TV, read, and sleepwalk myself through the days - nights actually, as I withdrew from everything, wake during the nights, sleeping during the days…and feeling totally fine with that, in the knowledge there wasn’t anything I could have done nor do any differently, the work was done, I was done…the house one big dustbin). When one feels the deep despair and depression, it is merely old energy leaving, and yes, it sucks…but it is healing/cleansing.

So when I felt this recent whirl pulling, something all of a sudden happened, being in the still very weary state I was in (and getting my period), I simply decided not to go there. I did not heed the dark call, I said NO, (fuck it!) I will no longer feel that way, go harass someone else still in need of it, but I am not playing anymore, I have nothing more to give to you.

(Same way this ascension started for me btw all those years ago, when my Love left, and I lay devastated and broken in my bed for 3 days, until I said: ‘fuck this, I will not feel like this anymore!').

There is always CHOICE.

Ascending is nothing but choosing a different energy/thought pattern…all the time…until the new is deeply anchored in as a way of life, a natural state of being. We rewire ourselves. No force outside of us does this, it us always us, all the way ...Beginning, to end...to beginning...

It is all just programming....

Being in bed at that time, unable to sleep because of the vague discomfort, I painted myself a pretty picture in my head. I saw myself in a fairytale forest, lovely warm sunlight piercing through the trees, as I was riding a unicorn. The story kind took off from there, all by itself…I was but naked, looking gorgeous, thin and light again, vibrant with life and vitality, young, sparkly and shiny, with long wavy thick hair down to my waist. I was actually laying on the unicorns strong back, eyes closed, stroking my hands along its flanks, while feeling it’s warm hair and muscles move as it walked through the forest. I felt its strong and calm soothing heartbeat, breathing, and its strength…and then I was sound and peacefully asleep. The images had relaxed me.

I use to always fantasize pretty fairytale pictures like that as a kid; couldn’t fall asleep without them. (I am not sure, was never much into that sort of thing, but I believe the unicorn stands for love, healing and purity).

I had shaken the whole thing off…A few hours later I woke up, took a long hot shower washing myself clean of it all, and went for a walk outside in the fresh cold night air underneath the stars. And thus I was cleared.

Thoughts and imaginations are magical and creative. They can put your whole system at peace (just like the mere though of sex can put your body in a state of arousal :D).

Humans eat the bitter herbs because they so choose to…Because mind and thought are steeped in bitterness and fear...'Ask and it is given, knock and the door shall be opened to you, seek and you shall find,..'...One gets and lives what one thinks/creates....We are in all (matter) that surrounds us.

Once having graduated, being all cleansed, and having mastered the energies, shrugging off undesired emotions and thoughts becomes easy. It is a natural state of being. Not to mention one is simply too tired to still go there, to even care or take an interest.

It is true…I have nothing more to give to this ascension story. I am done. My body is still adjusting…but soon I will be totally lifted out of and beyond the transition story. Resurrection day. New life awaits.

Just like with Jesus beyond the grave, other people may have a hard time recognizing us now. People that thought they knew who we were before, now have a hard time relating to us, seeing us for who we truly are. We’re not in Kansas anymore, we are not who we used to be buried under tons of rubble. We are all dressed in white light and blindingly bright shimmering colours now. Can be a somewhat scary unsettling experience for those who ‘knew’ us before.

Last thing I want to share is a song that kept playing in my head for days after breaking free of that whirl. It is ancient, and must have been hiding somewhere inside me since childhood. Some of the lyrics:

Bend me, shape me, anyway you want me,

As long as you love me, it’s alright

Bend me, shape me, anyway you want me,

You got the power, to turn on the light…

Found it on Youtube, enjoy! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74sUIFY9vFQ

Amen!

love

Ilse

P.S: right now I have ‘Bootylicious’ by Destiny’s Child stuck in my head btw. Heard it on TV last night in a casting show :D