For the LOVE of God....

Just now I had another strange experience...my heart is still kind of racing from it....

The doorbell rang...There was this guy standing there, kind of looked like a doctor, about my age.....and he said he was there about my health....Since I am in the race for that government benefit thingy, which also has to do with my ‘invalidity’ to work, I kind of figured he was from the government and there to check up on me, to see if I really wasn't working or anything....

So, I invited him in, he came with some doctor-like brief case and had kind of a sweet face, sweet eyes and smile....soft voice....So he sat down at my table, looking rather surprised.....

Then he took out a book...and started talking about herbs and stuff...and then it dawned on me, he was there to sell a series of books about health...So we started talking, about health and well-being, all good...

I always know encounters such as these happen for a reason, so I just let it all happen....I made it very clear to him though I was not going to buy his stuff and that I didn't need any of it...Of course he kept on trying to bring his product across, attempting to make that sale...and I made it very clear, again, I was not going to purchase any of his products....

Then he brought out some booklet which had helped him a lot in his life he said, and he wondered what I thought about it (it was only 7 Euros ;)), and I took a brief look at it, then said to him it was no book I would ever read.....

Then he started asking me questions about my hopes for the future, and how I viewed life....and I explained how I live in the now and not in the future, and that I was always taken care of...

Then we got deeper into the topic, as he was curious....He was also kind of surprised that I was so open and honest, and had in fact invited him into my home, as normally the door got slammed in his face....And then, of course, I saw it coming, he started talking about god and the bible to me....He was simply some kind of jehova's witness or something....

Oh. My. God.

So, when he asked questions, I answered them, very openly and frankly, just being me as always.....Which, after half an hour or so, and me being able to answer any question he had about life and god etc, made him go totally into religious fanatic mode....telling me I was mocking god, and that I would be judged on judgement day and be cast into hell...He kept telling me I needed to pray to Jesus for forgiveness, love and help, and I told him the Christ resides within all of us, and humans needed to learn to love, trust and help themselves....and that hate like that only brings about more hate....and that peace does not come from without but from within....

I really confused him, the usual biblical texts he normally parroted to people simply wouldn't work the way they usually did, so I got on his nerves big-time, as he just could not gain a grip on me, nor trip me or throw me off/over...He was used to being overbearing, ambushing people in their homes with a false story about selling a book series, when he was simply an evangelist looking for an opening....He was simply a cheat....Lonely old people in dire need of some company were easy prey for him....like his daily meal....

He kept going on about how it was all written in the bible, and that's why it was true...And so I asked him who he thought had written that bible, and if he had personally been there when all these (supposedly divine) things happened/were said in the bible, and when all these laws and rules were made, and he said no....So asked him how he knew then it was true if he had not experienced all these things for himself, whether he simply blindly believed and followed everything he was told... I also shared very openly that to me, however useful some biblical texts might be, others were to be understood as a metaphor, not literally, and that some were simply total BS, written and added by spiteful control freaks…Where he of course stated there was nothing he had ever read in the bible that was bullocks, not ever! His religious ego was feeling attacked and injured. He felt challenged…and threatened…in a major way.

And so on, and so forth…

We talked bout ‘an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth’ and many other subjects…and he kept on sharing his limited, idiotic and hateful views...(like how Eve supposedly had been created from Adams' rib...I made it clear to him that the feminine was not created from the masculine, but that the story of Adam and Eve was a metaphor, that there were actually never 2 such indivuals on the earth, and female and male in fact came into being at the very same 'time'..Neither one was 1st, nor was the one created from or by the other. It felt like speaking to a Neanderthal. He actually thought it very generous of Jesus to have saved Mary from being stoned to death, being the nasty sinning whore she was.)

'He who is without sin shall cast the first stone...'

He told me about how a serious car crash at age 21 brought him to change his life, and turned him to the bible (a kinda missed awakening opportunity if you ask me...and probably one of the many reasons he was sent/guided to my doorstep)....so I said I fully respected that he got a lot of strength from the bible, but that no one knows more about what is right for him then he himself does, not other people, and not some book...and that peace and love do not come from without but from within...that he was in fact the god he sought outside himself....

Getting ever more wound up, he kept on telling me about the guilty feelings he carried towards his wife whenever he lost is temper and was seduced (by no one else but the devil of course) said nasty things to her, and that he had to ask god for forgiveness constantly, so he would be allowed in the eternal afterlife, and then he asked me what I did to relieve my feelings of guilt, and I answered: "Nothing, I don't have any"....He then went quiet for a bit with an utterly boggled look on his face, contemplating what his reply to that unexpected statement should be, and then resumed his efforts to make me 'see the light', by starting the same sentence and question he had asked before, like a broken down record that can't help but play the same part over and over again, until he got the answer he desired, one he could then elaborate on in the way he was used to....Except...the answers he expected and was after never came. Big frustration.

He kept telling me how something serious like a huge car crash happening, and me being left alone with no one there to help me would someday change my perspective...and I told him I had already long been to that place...and back again....and it made me discover no one else but me is responsible for my life, and surely not some unknown judgmental entity in the sky.....and that eternal life is not for the happy few, but there for us all, a given for each and everyone, regardless of who we are and what we do or do not do.....God makes no such distinctions.

He kept on talking about how Jesus died for the sins of mankind, and I said there are no such things as sins, only experiences, and that god does not judge, only humans do (which is how/why Jesus supposedly ended up on the cross in the first place).....that in gods' eyes we are all loved, equal, and worthy of love, and have free will/choice to do with our lives whatever we choose....If we decide to be a criminal, we can, if we choose to be a doctor, painter, philanthropist etc, it is all the same to god....that we can choose to either use the masculine, or the feminine energy, or both in perfect neutral peaceful divine balance, and god loves, supports and embraces it all, each and every chosen experience.....and no more horrid atrocities ever take place then when people try to control others, (for instance by religious dogma) telling them how to be and what to do....that no one knows what is right for another...that the god that lives inside me also lives inside him, and that we are all one and the same...and that other humans are merely mirrors to us, showing who we are being....what we are being about....and that intolerance, hate and rejection towards others, is merely expressing the rejection and hate one holds for oneself...and that god wants us to just love and accept ourselves (and thus our fellow human beings) for who we are…divinity in form.

He would not hear of it, And kept on about how Jesus died on the cross in agony, and I needed to repent, and how I was a heretic, a blasphemist, and satan ruled my world....and so I asked him: 'you would probably nail me to the cross too then huh, if you had the opportunity to do so?'....and he went quiet for a bit, thinking, and said, no not he would crucify me, but god would...He said Jesus would return (the second coming, which is already long here, but how should he know) on the earth and come down from heaven to punish me, I would be punished and perish in horrible agony, I should beware.....

When I told him Jesus came to earth to make mankind aware of its divinity, and that Jesus was already there within each human, to be brought forth at any given moment of their choice, he got really angry.....I was insulting god he said, I was a false prophet....like Jesus had warned about, that there would be those calling themselves Christ, who were in fact of the devil.....

I was never going into any discussion, or trying to convince him of anything.....that would have been impossible anyway, deeply steeped into the hate/fear-hole as he was.....I just let him speak, and when he asked, I answered...

Although his rejection (of himself, and rejection of love towards himself and others) and hate made me kind of sad....He kept on insisting humans did not need to find the love to themselves, but to Jesus (Jeeeeezzzzz!)...They had to learn to love Jesus, not themselves, as humans were sinners, and weak, and some plain evil...(when I asked him about turning the other cheek, Jesus’ way, instead of doing onto others what they do onto you, he had no real answer, except that punishment was fair and necessary. 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth', in its most primitive explanation...I guess Jesus is only right some of the time, whenever it fits the human ego’s need).

When humans would only go down on their knees in the dirt, bow their heads in suffering, misery and tears deep enough, and begged, pleaded and prayed hard enough, then, maybe, gods' love would save them...God himself would come down from his throne with blazing thunder, and come to earth to punish all those that did not grovel and bow before him....Sooo medieval...One could clearly see this mans' body was bent forward in a curve from all the guilt, pain and anguish he was carrying around, one could easily see he was used to lying on his knees with his head bowed, humbly begging and pleading for relief, for gods' love, forgiveness and support, to wash his 'sins' away.

If only he knew that the only one able to release him from all his burdens is he, himself.

Only he can forgive himself and get to a higher way of being....Yet he was under the impression that one comes to earth only once, had only one chance, and only to suffer and be endlessly tested..so that, when one was lucky, and had repented and suffered enough, one would be allowed in the peaceful afterlife, the kingdom of god, Walhalla.

This man was convinced our encounter was no coincidence, and that he was brought to my door to make me see the light....Yet I know it was the other way around, and told him so....

It is not the words we exchanged that will help him to find to himself, and change….eventually....

This man was not a bad man (as there is no such thing)...he was simply ignorant....blind...and deaf....and drunk from his ego pain body.

All the time through the conversation I remained so totally calm and at peace, and all I felt for this man was such deep compassion and love.....and some sadness that he was so locked up in all this fear and hate, so blinded.....it almost brought tears to my eyes...poor sweet man....What a waste of energy and life...when it could all be so beautiful, abundant, joyful and lovely...and peaceful

Humans have such a hard time taking responsibility for themselves, and simply acknowledging their own enormity/divinity.

Homo Giganticus

I never feared him, not at any moment did I feel threatened or felt like returning is anger. It triggered nothing in me.

When he started to get really wound up, and raised his voice at me, turning all red, with eyes wide almost falling out of his head, pointing his finger at me, bending over towards me, and beginning to foam from the mouth, on the verge of becoming really nasty (he was a very tall guy, twice my height), I kindly asked him to leave my house, and walked him to the door....there I hugged him and wished him love, wisdom and peace, and a beautiful life ....and sent him on his way with loving thoughts and intentions accompanying him...

It was this hug that went straight to his heart, I also, for a brief moment I held his hands in mine...and that's what will do the trick....He looked slightly shocked afterwards....quite baffled....I had shown him LOVE…the real thang, not the fake stuff :)

Before leaving he knocked on the door downstairs as well, where my neighbour lives, so I told him my neighbour wasn t there but at work...Still he kept knocking the door, not believing that I was simply telling him the truth. Very distrusting he was, this 'man of god'.

This was an encounter of the oldest heaviest most primitive energy on earth, with the lightest....It was like ancient prehistoric primitive ego meets loving mother-father god love....wow..Hate to love....old to new.

'forgive him father for he knows not what he does'....there was nothing to forgive...I was in fact thankful for the experience, and that such an individual was brought to my doorstep....to be embraced....So I thanked him for his visit.....and thanked god too, in the silence of my heart.....

Light is never more needed then in very dark places....

I never understood better why we took this whole thing upon ourselves, as when I was standing there, face to face with this evangelist...I felt such compassion and love for that man, he was so lost, locked up in his, anger fear and hate...Exactly that must be what called us here.....Without us, mankind could have never found itself a way out....It was love and compassion that brought us here....We came to release the divine human of his (self-created) shackles....Mankind asked, god delivered.

Does that mean it was all necessary, hallelujah, and could not have been achieved any other way, or simply been left alone to its own natural development/evolution? Nope, it does not...but this just happens to be the way we all, as one collective divine consciousness, decided to go about it...as a creative adventure. I guess god just loves to meddle for love, he just doesn't know any better...And it is his/our world after all, like all worlds are. We do with it as we so please. We are all in on it.

After having gone through the whole ascension-excavation and clean-up, and uncovering the love I hold for myself, I now also fully understand the 'loving thy neighbour as thyself' part. One can only gain a total understanding of it when one has actually experienced this for oneself. This man was simply me in another form, and so now I held nothing but love for him, as I now hold nothing but love for myself. It was so easy to love him. Not at any time did I feel like answering his fear & anger, like rewarding rage and intolerance with more rage and intolerance. All I wanted to do was embrace and love him. This was in fact his divine gift to me, an experience for which I am very grateful. It showed me I indeed have arrived, and the hard work is over and done with. It lifted me up to yet a higher place...THE place...to be.

Somehow everything has come full circle now, into being one whole.

I now have no more resistance whatsoever towards love, not to receiving it, nor to giving it...I am now a wide open, unblocked channel for love to flow towards, through and from, into the world surrounding me, like water...how wonderful.

This world still has a long long way to go to get to peace...but the (new) beginning is here now.

And now...I actually have a slight headache from this intense encounter now, as my body is already detoxing, ridding itself of the little sticky dark energies....As he was screaming at me I got a bit light-headed for a moment, and broke into a minor sweat....Deep darkness attacks can bring about such a response in your body, which is just a natural response, an immediate way to release and cleanse…..So...I will have a nice warm shower now....cry some releasing tears for mankind....and freshly be on my way...again....

It amazes me how simple things have become now….how easily events such as these just melt off/by me, like butter in a hot frying pan….The ancient endless cycle stops right here, with me.

….and all I feel is love and compassion….

love

me

P.S. The next day, as I was getting the mail from my mailbox, I noticed this evangelist had put in a flyer with big letters on it, screaming 'TAKE JESUS!'...and it made me chuckle out loud....Sweet poor lovely divine misguided man...Thank you...god.

Oh…and just now I heard the pope is actually resigning his post come February 28th, the 1^st pope to do so in 600 years. He turns 86 on April 16 (2 days after my b’day :D) Just like the Dutch queen he is abdicating, and making room for someone new. So, somewhere around the March equinox there will be new pope, and also a lot of other new stuff appearing as well I am sure.

New beginnings all over.

Every now and then I have some huge tears break through... not the heavy sad kind, but the kind of crying that comes from all the way down in your toes (or soul) and is releasing and relieving, cleansing...It comes from so deep within, like a big tsunami wave that breaks through the dam and simply floods away through all barriers, dragging everything with it, everything washed clean....I keep having these deep deep sighs and/in-breaths, as if able to breathe in eternally without ever having to breathe out again.....

I have had so many visions of my love and I together that it made me restless....and also kind of impatient....I know my new life starts with him....

All the many life long years before were the preparations leading upto it, but with him the process seriously took off in Sept. 2007, and with him it will also end....He will put my body and being back at ease. Just like he broke it all open way back when, he will also be the one to heal it again...He started/triggered the cycle to open/begin, and he will close it....He will bring about the big material/physical changes, like he did years ago...that's how it is intended to be....Some things one must do alone, other things one cannot do alone and for/by oneself....I could not start up the most intense part of process by myself, I needed him for that, neither can I end/finish it by myself....It ends with our beginning, in the form of his return....

I am not only complete, and a whole on my own, I am also a greater complete whole together with him...Love is a infinite circle (a 0, or/and an 8-shaped), an endless unlimited exchange of energy between male and female, back and forth, and without my love, this circle is simply incomplete.

We'll see what gives huh....Maybe March equinox energies will help bring about the change...that would be nice...

The erratic weather patterns worldwide, accompanied by a huge flu epidemic (in Germany 1 in 3 individuals is down with the flu), and other such similar happenings, are forcing people to slow down and reboot....Getting ready for a new beginning...Everyone at its own level, in its own way and at its own pace.