Say No to Bullying

Why do People Bully?

Everyone will have been bullied in their lifetime or will bully others.

The above statement you may have heard before and it is something that I believe is undoubtedly true. Bullying occurs everywhere; at home, in school, at work and on the streets and affects everyone. If there is one thing I have learnt about bullies it is that they will find anything wrong with you and use that as a weapon against you. It could be something simple such as if you have a certain haircut or something far more serious such as a disability. This leads to the bullies tricking you into thinking there really is something wrong with you and certainly for me is the reason I have such little confidence in myself.

My Experiences

The worse time I was bullied was at my last school, Eastbrook Comprehensive school which I left early because the bullying got so bad, leaving me with no qualifications. The school had many problems including being so overcrowded-it was like mission impossible to just get down a corridor as hundreds of children tried to make their way down such a narrow passageway.

The school had a stupid swipe system installed where you had to swipe your own personal card at various times in the day to register your attendance in addition to the teachers taking a traditional, paper register. The swipe cards often did not work and with fifty children trying to swipe in at once before the bell went you wanted it to work first time (which usually it didn't). I had very good attendance but because the swipe system had been made so badly I got into trouble-as well as many others-for not swiping in even though we had. But that was the least of my worries; at one point there were so many others trying to swipe it I got forced against the wall and almost broke my small finger on my left hand.

It was mainly horrid names bullies called me but sometimes they were more physical with me. I hated P.E. (Physical Education) and on one particular day while in the changing rooms the teacher had left us alone, leaving me to face my bullies who took turns to spit at me.

Chewing gum was another big problem at the school, it was often thrown at me and got stuck in my long hair. Even after a teacher had helped to get it out of my hair as best as she could she didn't exactly offer to try to stop it happening again.

Speaking of hair, just because it was longer than what most of the other children had that was the perfect excuse for bullies to make fun of me. That and my religious beliefs (I would hear 'Jesus' being called out wherever I went) and for working hard in class (giving me the nickname 'teacher's pet').

I must add that my younger and older brothers who also went to the same school were also bullied for similar reasons. Although for some time us brothers were at school together I didn't see them that much.

Some of the teachers as well were like bullies; a teacher I had for science was also in control of the library and would chuck everyone out if just one person breathed too loudly (that is only a slight exaggeration). Mr. Peacock, who I had for D.T. (Design Technology), delighted in punishing everyone for one person's misbehaviour and because of him I did not get to study electronics at school. While still talking about teachers, the form tutor I had-Ms. Rowley-decided she couldn't be bothered with work experience, so I and everyone else in the class missed out on a valuable introduction to working.

Anti-bullying Videos

Here is a video that I recorded talking about bullying:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd2nPACp_N8

And here is another video about bullying but by a friend of mine called Jeremy Shaw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB1WpYJWyOA

What to do With Bullies?

At the Eastbrook Comprehensive school that I went to they had a so-called anti-bullying policy allowing students to detail bullies on a piece of paper and post it into the bully box (a sort of postbox). It often did no good or even made things worse as soon as the bullies found out that they had been reported although the odd time threatening to report them gave them a good enough reason to back away for some while.

Even with an anti-bullying policy, not all teachers lived by it instead sticking by the don't tell tales method of dealing with bullying (i.e. do nothing). One teacher actually took me out of class because I was the one being bullied, as if I had been in the wrong.

Although there might be a teacher who actually does care about you and will do his/her best to help you, informing your friends or parents maybe the only thing you can do to get help. If you are being bullied online, as does happen to me, the best thing you can do is block them which is something I wish had been possible to do for real to the bullies at school. I know it can be hard but if you can try to ignore any verbal bullying as bullies usually want some sort of reaction from the ones they make suffer.

Just remember that there is nothing wrong with you; bullies are sad, stupid people who often have problems of their own, perhaps being bullied themselves. Continue to do what you enjoy doing as long as it does not harm yourself or others.

Be yourself.

Your experiences

Thanks to Sami Etem for the following:

I'm 16 and from South London, as you may know, the crimerate down here is appalling. Where does this come from? I believe bad schools. It's not always necessarily the parents as it is the teachers and kids that affect children.

I have lived with my mother (her and my dad split up when I was 2) all my life, my brother, Michael, who is 10 years older than me moved out when I was about 12.

I started primary school in 1999 when I was 6, I remember before then I'd watch TV a lot and I'd remember seeing stuff about school and I was so excited, well, when I started school was I excited? It's hard to remember, but I think not.

Being bullied almost every day for 3 years by the same person, it wasn't very nice. It was mainly physical and every now and then random kids would come up to me while I was minding my own business in the playground and make up lies about how I said something about their "mother" and then they'd kick me or something, it was quite sad really.

I'd come home with bruises and I'd tell my mother it was from me slipping, I'm not sure if it was because I forgot how I got the bruise or if I just lied for the sake of lieing. But she knew where they came from, she's a smart woman, she used to give me these stones, she was big into spiritual stuff and the healing powers of stones, and I'd wear them. I'm not sure if they helped or not.

One day I fought back, I was in the toilets and the boy who had been bullying me for 3 years came in, I kicked him in the balls (lmao) and just left him lieing there, I was amazed, I felt so good, then after that a couple days later he tried it again in the cloakroom, I beat him again and threw a jacket on top of him, it's funny now I think about it, but it felt so good to get my own back.

Ever since then, the years after that were fine, I was known by so many people as a funny person and I made lots of friends, I ended up loving going there some days, and then year 6, 2005, I finished, I left and left all of my friends behind, I took none of their numbers, I didn't even know it was the last day believe it or not.

When I started my secondary school, Geoffrey Chaucer, It was horrible. I can sense vibes, and the vibe at that school was...eugh. I don't even want to think of it. The reason why there's so much crime is because kids can either CHANGE and become like the other bullies, or stay the same and be bullied. That's it. Or leave like me, and become homeschooled. I don't have any qualifications, but I hope to become a 3D Modeler and learn Maya which I can do at home, you don't really need GCSE's for that.

I'm not sure if it's because I fought back that it didn't scar me, or if the stones helped, but that's my story. Sorry I'm not really that good at explaining things and I ramble on sometimes, but I just thought I'd leave you my message.

Bullies will never be winners, because ultimately their lives are infinitely worse than the kids that aren't bullies' lives.

All content of this and related pages is copyright (c) James S. 2009-2010