Boys love football

The little boy pictured here is almost 2 years old but has spent most of his life in hospitals.Why?Because he required a heart transplant shortly after birth. Then Renal (Kidney) failure occurred so he had to be on dialysis until large enough for a Renal transplant (donated by his father).Now at long last he has been discharged home.His mother posted this update on his Caring Bridge site which gives poignant insight regarding her thoughts during this period of time.We think you will find it most interesting and edifying.Saturday, November 19, 2011 8:10 PM, PST

Hello Everyone! Shannon here.

Well, we have been discharged and at home for more than a week and I must say it is a lot easier this time around.

I don’t feel the need for the “I survived my first week at home with a medically fragile baby” t-shirt.

Christopher is still on a rigid medication schedule (with a dose at 1 am) but that should get better over time.

He is still on continuous feeds to the small intestine but that, too, will be something that improves over time.

Life is simpler for us but not necessarily simple!

George and I move through our days feeling tired (and sometimes exhausted) but it is no different than life for a mom with a newborn. Our baby just happens to be a little older!

This whole experience continues to be a lesson in humility.

Some weeks ago I found myself awake in the wee hours of the night with thoughts continuing to circle around medical decisions being made or not being made. Christopher was asleep at the hospital and I needed to be asleep ... .

It was one of those moments when I kept saying, “Stop thinking about the doctors, Shannon. Count sheep, recite the alphabet, go through the steps for making chicken gumbo—think about anything but the hospital!” And of course I kept thinking about the hospital.

Finally my mind drifted to 1 Peter 5:7, “cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

And I thought, “Lord, how exactly am I to do that?”

It was late. I was tired. And with a strong intention of studying the passage the next day, I fell to sleep.

The next morning Christopher slept in and I was able to study without interruption for a full hour. Quite unusual—and I was thankful for the time. What a blessing the passage proved to be.

I knew 1 Peter 5:7 very well—haven’t we all heard that verse hundreds of times? It is used so often to bring comfort to a person in the middle of difficulty but without the previous verses little is gained by the knowledge.

And what is the context of the passage? Humility. Peter wrote about humility in the previous verses.

In verse 5, Peter states, “clothe yourselves with humility toward one another.”

In verse 6, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God.” We are to put on humble service. We are to be lowly-minded—not thinking so highly of ourselves. We are to accept God’s sovereign hand in our lives—not fighting with Him, debating his Wisdom, arguing about His care. We are to be meek and lowly with whatever trial comes into our life.

God’s hand is active in His creation. In the lives of His people He works His perfect will. He might bring deliverance, He might be a shelter in the storm, He might be disciplining His children. But in all things He is to be trusted.

I was so restless that night with all of my thoughts. I wanted things to happen, conversations to take place, doctors to make decisions. And I had to let go of it all. My agenda, my plan really didn’t matter. My testimony, my attitudes mattered far more.

Again my selfishness stuck out like a sore thumb. I wanted “my way” and I was impatient for it.

I love the quote by Warren Weirsbe, “One of the evidences of our pride is our impatience with God. And one of the reasons for our suffering is that we might learn patience.”

I believe the heart is so deceitful when it comes to our selfish motives. We just don’t see them. We are in control of so much in our lives—even small things. We eat breakfast, lunch and dinner when we want to. We happily serve in the church when its been written down on our calendar and planned out ahead of time. We organize our children’s schedules and lives, and even if life is hectic, we still control the clock. We watch TV when we want to, surf the net when we want to, so much freedom, so much control. But when control is stripped away and our self-orchestrated lives are disrupted, our ugly deceitful hearts showcase their desires.

I had to say honestly before the Lord, “I want to see cardiology first thing this morning, I want cardiology to talk to nephrology by noon, I want his feeding tube addressed by tomorrow, I want to tell this doctor…” The list went on. “I want” was the priority in my life. And my list was not a bad list—they were things that needed to be addressed on Christopher’s behalf. And this is where I saw the subtle deceit in my heart. I had to stop and say, “Lord, it really doesn’t matter what I want. You are either in total control of your universe and You care for Christopher and me, OR You do not.” And my faith said, “I trust you in all things.”

My testimony as a Christian, as a follower of Christ, was far more important in an unbelieving medical community than my list of demands and desires. My lips could speak graciously as my God is gracious or they could be snippy and impatient. I could continue to testify about our Lord or I could by sullen and silent and miss an opportunity for the Lord to work through me.

In 1 Peter 5:7 I love the word “cast”. It means “to throw something on something,” as to throw a blanket on a donkey. The footnote in my Bible states, “Christians are to cast all of their discontent, discouragement, despair, and suffering on the Lord and trust Him for knowing what He’s doing with their lives.” What a beautiful picture in my mind—to toss, to throw all my anxiety on Him.

As I sat up at Doerbecher I realized that however events played out in the hospital, they were all under God’s complete sovereign hand. Christopher’s physical health might be slow-going, he might take a turn for the worse. I didn’t have to be anxious. My role was humble servant as my sweet baby Christopher rested completely in the loving hands of His Creator.

Psalm 139

For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them.

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