9.1 Early attachment
Young people in search of their true identity are unaware of the fact that they are working on their "personal system for adaptation and defence": a PAD as a shock-absorber between the person and his environment. We have described it (8.2) as consisting of concentric layers, the outer one of which has acquired knowledge and uses cognitive and verbal communication (language) as instruments to cope with the environment. Building this outer layer is supported and motivated by deeper layers, such as identity (basic security), intimacy (trust), self-preservation and socialisation, from which rise the desire and the courage to come to grips with the world. They supply the drive for joining the game of communicating by speech-sounds. The exchange of sounds between mother and child starts out as a play activity that will later grow into a universal tool for survival. But language will always keep its initial playful properties.
Chapter 8 has specified the elements of personality-growth that protect the self by contributing to the development of communication skills. Many children grow up in a human environment that is far from friendly and supportive. In its development a child passes many hurdles which decide whether it will be able to cope successfully. Challenges up to a certain point are invigorating, especially in a supporting and encouraging environment. When a challenge becomes excessively demanding its effect is discouragement. Too much discouragement results in permanent damage.
Before they have learned to talk children have other ways of communicating their needs and wishes. They use non-verbal means of expression: various modalities of voice, facial expressions, movements, gestures. A baby is not quite as helpless as it may seem. With a display of body-language, an infant expresses its mood and its needs. It attracts attention and voices its discomfort until its needs are met. In so doing it learns to exert power on its environment. The exchange of non-verbal signs and expressions, coupled with good nursing, induces early and firm bonding. [http://www.awareparenting.com] The attachment provides fundamental safety and fulfills the child's need to have its identity repeatedly confirmed. In chapter 10 we'll discuss the consequences of an environment that suppresses baby's early attempts to assert itself.
9.2 Priming the first communicative skills.