How to Change Your Life Practicing Gratitude With 5 min Daily Exercise I Learned From MindValley
Everyone perceives reality a little differently, and with all of the terrible events and shocking news in the last year, it’s been easy to get caught in spirals of negative thinking.
Today, negativity comes at us in more ways than ever. Every time we look down at our phones or check our social media feeds, there seems to be another tragedy unfolding somewhere in the world. While these things pique our interest and tug at our emotions, we need to know how and when to take a step back and re-evaluate our present reality.
What is negativity bias, and why do we have it?
We often find ourselves paying attention to the bad things in life because of something called negativity bias. Negativity bias is our tendency to register negative information, dwell on it, and remember it for longer periods than positive information.
Negativity bias shows up everywhere in our lives in both obvious and subtle ways.
Maybe you were having a great day on the beach, but you realized you locked your keys in your car while you were there. Chances are you talked about the keys getting locked in the car when you later told your friends about your day on the beach rather than all the fun you had. Or perhaps you tend to recall only details about the disagreements you have with your significant other instead of the good memories you share, so you feel hopeless, and your relationship suffers over time.
You would think that it would be easy, and in our best interest, to just put aside the negative thoughts and feelings. Doing so would certainly save us from a lot of pain and stress, but it turns out that our fixation on negativity isn’t something we try to do. Instead, our brains seem to be hardwired to be pretty negative.
According to a study published in 2013, there’s significant evidence suggesting humans learn from negative information far more effectively than they do from positive information. A 2004 magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) study found that our brains are more active when we are processing negative stimuli than it is when we are processing positive stimuli. Further studies have shown that we’re more likely to form a stronger first impression about someone or something if our first interactions are negative.
All that, and many other studies, suggest humans naturally tend to focus on negative information more often, even if it makes us unhappy.
How to overcome negativity bias
Just because we’re proven to be more inclined to process negative information doesn’t mean it’s healthy for us to dwell on all the negativity we are consuming.
Exposure to negative news coverage, for example, can lead to acute stress symptoms and sometimes post-traumatic stress symptoms for some people. Consuming negative news is also linked to mood changes, anxiety, and depression in certain individuals, according to an article in Psychology Today.
Likewise, people who tend to be overly pessimistic about life are also more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, hostility, high blood pressure, and heart disease, according to an article in Psychology Today.
But still, we hear about tragic events over and over again and focus on life’s blunders because it’s what our brains are most willing and equipped to process.
There’s no way to solve all of the world’s problems or pretend they simply don’t exist, but we do have the ability to prevent the effects of negativity bias.
To change our perceptions of our external realities, we need to start by rewiring our subconscious minds by practicing gratitude.
Think about it, when was the last time you looked at your life and thought about all the things that were going right? We can get so lost in the negative aspects of life, thinking about why things are going wrong, that we forget to think about the positive things in our lives.
Practicing gratitude can change our lives for the better and help us appreciate more of the good things despite all of the negativity around us.
Here are the benefits of practicing gratitude:
Just like negativity bias, gratitude is also backed by science, here’s how:
Gratitude can lead to long-term, positive change. A study by two U.S. psychologists asked one group of people to write down a few things they were grateful for each week, another group of people to write down a few things that irritated or displeased them each week, and the third group of people wrote about things that affected them regardless if they were good or bad. After 10 weeks of doing this practice, people who wrote about things they were grateful for felt more optimistic about their lives, were physically exercising more, and had fewer visits to doctors than the group that wrote about what bothered them.
You’ll be more present. We’re often told you have to “live in the moment.” But what does that even mean? Paying attention to our surroundings is one thing, but gratitude teaches us to notice and process all of the good thoughts and feelings happening in the present moment. So, instead of living life waiting for something bad to happen to you, you’ll be actively processing more details as you go through your day-to-day life, looking for the good in a situation. You’ll realize that as you take time to notice good moments, you’ll experience more overall feelings of joy and happiness than before.
You and your team may perform better at work. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania divided university fund-raisers into two groups. One group of fund-raisers were conducted as usual - having people call alumni to solicit donations. A different group received a pep talk and were thanked for their work before they started making calls. The group that received a pep talk made 50% more calls than the group that did not get a pep talk, according to an article published by Harvard Medical School.
You’ll feel more confident with yourself. If you struggle with feeling confident about yourself, gratitude is a great place to start. By focusing on your strengths and writing them down, you’ll begin to believe in yourself more and appreciate all the things you’ve accomplished. This practice can be very motivating if you’re working toward a big goal or if you are going through a difficult time in your life.
You’ll make other people feel good about themselves. The more you think about gratitude in your life, the more you’ll feel comfortable talking about it with other people. It will eventually feel more natural telling someone what you like about them or taking time to give them a heartfelt thank you for something nice they’ve done. In a world where we tend to focus on the negatives, it’s refreshing to have someone talk about the good things.
How to start practicing gratitude through journaling
Verbally expressing what you’re grateful for is important for yourself and other people in your life, but we often get distracted and quickly pulled into other directions even if we truly feel grateful.
I’ve found that gratitude is most impactful by writing it down. I had been practicing gratitude for many years, but I started neglecting the practice after my son was born, and life brought more distractions. Then I found a new method that’s been easy to make time for, and still helps me appreciate the great things in my life that I truly appreciate.
I want to share a system that I’ve been using daily to practice gratitude that I first learned from gratitude expert Robin Sharma.
Three steps for practicing gratitude:
Get a blank notebook or journal you can write in.
Always keep the notebook open and in a place where you’ll see it at least once every day.
Write down 10 things that you’re grateful for every day for at least 30 days.
The 10 things you choose for this exercise should be written in complete sentences. For example, “I am grateful for my husband for always taking out the trash, even if it’s raining outside.” Or, “I am thankful for my boss because he just gave me a generous bonus that will help me send my kids to college.” As you write, try to feel gratitude and joy within you - even smile as you write to feel a little happier.
Don’t worry if you don’t have something different to be grateful for every day. If you can’t think of something new, simply write the same things you have before as you remember them. There’s no reason to be any less grateful for things that keep coming to mind when you’re doing this practice!
If you follow this quick and simple system, I assure you that you’ll begin noticing changes in how you perceive reality with a few days. That’s because as you write, you’ll recall all the good memories you have associated with all the different things you’re grateful for. You’re also giving yourself a quiet moment to reflect on those happy memories as you move through your list, which can be a great way to slow down during your day and commit yourself to think about all the things you truly appreciate in your life.
Remember to be grateful for the small things, too
Although you probably don’t have everything you want in your life, I’m sure you can still find plenty of things to be grateful for.
You could write about something as simple as having a roof over your head, or a warm bowl of soup you enjoyed for lunch the day before. Think about all your friends and family members, and the things they do that make you feel happy. Even people you occasionally interact with on the internet can be sources of joy and gratitude if you take the time to notice them. If you’re feeling particularly stuck, take a walk in your neighborhood and notice the beautiful plants people have in their yards, their cute dogs, or the fresh air you’re breathing.
It honestly doesn’t matter how grandiose your life is or what you have accomplished. What’s important is that you’re teaching your brain to perceive reality in a different light - not through fear, but through joy and happiness.
You can learn more tips from an expert in gratitude
As I mentioned before, I learned this simple yet effective method of practicing gratitude from Robin Sharma.
His masterclass available through Mindvalley gives you even more insight into gratitude and how you can incorporate a gratitude practice into your daily life.
Although Sharma was a successful lawyer before he started practicing gratitude, he still felt unfulfilled by his life. Once he began practicing gratitude, he’s propelled his career to new heights. He’s now a leadership expert who works with musicians, royalty, billionaires, and celebrity CEOs. His book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, was an international best-seller.
Sharma’s 90-minute masterclass explores negativity bias more deeply, discusses effective goal setting, and gives you realistic recommendations on practicing gratitude in your everyday life. He also shares tips meant to improve your performance at work, help you build better habits and develop deep focus.
You can enroll in Sharma’s gratitude class by visiting Mindvalley.com and signing up today! There are also tons of other helpful resources and interesting classes available to members.
