Home is where the heart is. Im the helter skelter bomb shelter stealth atomic akla seltzer top and bottom jaw welder the secular thought exeter. Mental gymnastics, Simualcra Semicolon, are we gonna flip this. s5 is pretty good, work is hard but I aint quitting. Dave Ramsey total money make over is trash. I want to go on this trip, fit ball for posture. I want to be a mechanic but I hate mechanic hours. Krino Caustic DNA spit hot fire barz. Reddit is boring rn, Youtube has lost its flair again. Hs flew by and im already out, Go vegan; anhedonia I like having fun with friends and seeing cool things, I wanna travel anywhere and see things. Brush your teeth, watch educational videos. Small engine or bike mechanic, Amazon is good but theres so many things to buy. Raise your dongers game strong FUCK RASPBERRIES.

Another day gone, I wish I could travel and have fun more often I love life reddit is weird but good yt is doing well and ally is cute i wish that i didnt have to work i wish my bananas were ripe 4 days of work and good music i wish i could listen to music at work I wish criminal justice click a link to find something good its a secret watch free . to ftw do alg 2 already its not to late is so easy dr is so motivating i went to the stock market today i did a business vincent adultman perhaps bertrand russel had it right when he saidTo be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.” (: all smiles and good music I love art and my art teacher she was so nice and understanding I miss her and my friends life is good and stressful at the same time i need to buy some clothes im grateful for everything i have and to be able bodied music is lovely arc 703g is the best budget rice cooker nothing else compares eden exgf great music makers mindfold sleepmask ftw

I hate working but its necessary for money whatever im grateful to have a job, anyways don dolo is killing it. Cant wait for Krino to drop these albums, college is alright so far still grinding youtube out just doing it ec hoping to go to thailand next summer who knows Ive been thinking Ive been spending to much but then I realized Ive been saving 30% and thats pretty good I still have things I want to buy.

Go to bed late wake up late, its a shit cycle. I hate working late, I been so undercarbed, underslept and dehydrated. Ive done nothing I wanted too in the past week.

Working on getting carbed up school is going alright I need to do laundry and eat more and buy food and get rid of stuff probably with mom. maybe get better rice. apples peaches lemonade beans do sociology and film hw. working on unploading amap.

Been feeling alright lately still working on what to eat and staying hydrated and slept up. School is going ok so far already got my first late assignment I have no clue what to write about. Fuck man Im prolly gonna have to throw these bananas away I get tired of food so fucken quickly that marinara sauce taste like shit. I ruined my gardein. I wish it was easier to carb up. I need to eat some apples. I can finally get back into cycling again hopefully now that I have my inhaler. I was so dumb for waiting so long. Salt and pepper kettle chips are fucking hella good. Rekt.

Fuck Im not trying to work 32 hours next week fuck. Homework has been pretty chill lately since I dont have work. Carts is so fucken shitty I dont know how anyone stays there I cant wait to leave I always fucken dread working. I feel pretty unorganized lately and I want to get rid of things. I added too much sugar this morning to my peaches they were way to sweet. I always ruin songs. I finally finished burning the bulk of that material I still need to donate that stuff maybe Ill call my mom. I need to talk to jo. Closet looks pretty good That compliment from Mr modica felt good. Time to do some reminiscin Fuck bro. I dont want to live my whole life like this. Hopefully I can renovate my blue bike and get it in good working condition for now instead of buying a bike.

Im officially quitting this week and thats that. I hope I can make it. I made that calculator today and finished my meeting with welling now I just need to talk to my other counseler Karen. Alessia is a great artist and really brings out emotions I like. Ive been stressed out with work and school and all. I feel like once I quit im gonna regret the shit out of it but I know that its only brought me stress and problems. I hope I can do my best to add value to Tyreses operation and make a little side money to keep me going. Im pretty happy right now, I know what Dr was talking about if you cant be happy now youll never be happy. I need to catch up on some work and I hope I dont fail. I was so nieve when I first started working summer was great but I cant stand it now all it does is fuck up my sleep and hw schedule. Tyrese has done so much for me, I appreciate him for that. The mind fold hurts my ears. I dont know that Ill ever be able to buy my bike upgrades for now.

Fuck man another 4 days at winco and I have a job offer but im not old enough for a bike messenger. Going to australia soon I need to work out my budget some more. I dont really need to buy anything for my bike right now. Food and class fees are my biggest expense. School is so fucken annoying Im glad I left winco, I want to call in on friday but idk.

Finally out of the shit hole that was winco, thank heavens. Got another job at the bike shop most likely so thats cool. I think Ill have a good time and be able to make a lil extra cash to help me till my youtube channel is doing good enough to stay up. I just want to travel and train man. I wish food wasnt shit tasting, its hard to have variety cheaply and travel I would need to plan pretty good I have alot of ideas I want to work on or buy like the compression bag cleaning up some. I have a list of things I want to buy but when does it end I feel like there will always be something else I guess I need to come to term with that. I hope I can get the raisels to taste great and make a nice profit. I hope I dont start hating my job but I dont think I will this is a great opportunity. I hate my frikin blank. I want to hang out with my brother and do it big together but Idk if he will want to stop the drugs. That collapsible bowl is nice but its so small.

This weekend was a blur, my brother seems to be irretrivably too far gone to try an change. He must make it himself before anyone can help him and make a change. I dont want to see him go down this path but it feels unchangeable. Anyways been pretty undercarbed and dehydrated this weekend. Hopefully I can save up for a bike this year and maybe even make it to thailand this or next year. The bike shop isnt looking like something I would want to do long term. I guess that guy was right. These reviews are doing pretty well, its just another way of knowing your market. This aux cord protector idea has me pretty excited. Dont rain on my parade is a good song that feels good. This glee chick is cute same with that cash me chick she done glod up. any ways enought of that talk. ally finally calmed down. Im always hell naive when I start a new job I always be like this is a good opportunity and then I end up hating it. I see phils point a little more now. thats not really a note I want to end on. My cousin is a good man. I appreciate him. S people S Lifes good man. Just gotta let it go Got some good food for tommorrow ready for the quarter to be over and finish up these projects. I wonder what the project people said. Thats enough for today goddamn fruit angel is hot and I now realize how things besides looks make people attractive fruit angel is 100 times more attractive because of her fitness and vegan beliefs holy moly she is something else that fit ball video was hmmm somethin else.

Been in a rut lately, I feel like Ill never do it big, we gon keep trying though. Been wasting alot of time on the internet lately aswell. Even though Ive been somewhat organized Im still struggling to not get overwhelmed. Ive wasted so much money on food ughh I dont even want to think about it, we have to let it go so we can move forward. I hope I get this small engine mechanic job and can do well. I hope I can make it through these first couple weeks at phils Ive been struggling lately and Im worried I might get let go, it wont be that bad but itll prove I couldnt learn quick enough. Drone flying was cool but its calibrated so shit I could hardly fly it. Flying it in the shed would be cool though with no wind. I wish it could film with it. this nigga is one of those, people are so fucken dumb. I need to finish that voice over. maybe I could do more poop videos. I want to do something today, I hope james is there so we can go riding again.

I feel like Im never gonna make good money. That pizza made me feel like shit I was dehydrated as fuck last night. Already drowning in assignments for school, cant wait for it to be over. I need to get better at uploading and consistency. I didnt feel like going on another ride today. Hopefully my classes will be pretty easy. I will probably go the other ride on monday and hopefully go to bed early.

Get to bed on time, keep cycling 40 miles next time, Look into doing an ironman, Make a cool vegan meal, Perhaps vegan hot dog stand Hot dog ketchup, chili,

Today was pretty good had some pizza, got to chill with tyrese. Saturday Im gonna get up at 5 and leave by 530 to get there and set up everything so we can leave early. I dont want to think about this shit. School has been pretty easy lately. I want to hand out flyers but at the same time I dont.

Been falling behind in school lately, hopefully I wont fail that diversity class. Adam Foss is an excellent speaker. Todays ride was kinda shit but I was glad to get out at least. I was pretty undercarbed and dehydrated. Saw alot of homeless today, it felt odd I usually feel like they mean less in Federal Way but I noticed them more in Auburn. I have no goals I just do things and it feels like crap. I feel like I always need to buy things I want to be happy with what I have. The world is so fucked man I tell you what. Shit is so evil but those little bits of good are what keep me going. Max payne feels good to listen to. I want to have a relationship with my brother but I feel as though he wouldnt have enough energy. We would have to do things that required less energy like guitar and other things. My dad is very odd and doesnt understand some of the things that seem simple. Idk man that last part sounds cringey af but this man said sunlight doesnt affect plants like what the actual fuck. Fuck the place the shall not named, I can only look back on it with negativity. All this cycling shit is expensive. 288 I wonder where I can make that cover art if I ever make it. I know what I want to be able to do, I just dont know how I can achieve those things. This time the journal did alot, I just didnt feel it as much. The blogs seem to be doing more.

The positive affirmation worked in the last post, great idea. Stressed af lately from money pmar. Shit really does have control over life but not if you dont let it. Cant wait to go cycling with my brother and family. Life is pretty good been ordering new things and havent had to many money problems but I do stress about big purchases food has been a struggle lately winco has been changing prices left and right and it is stressing me out. Spent 20$ today and it will probably be gone by the middle of the week. I cant wait to go to Australia. I really need to start uploading more. I cant wait till school is over I am tired of fucking stressing about assignments I hope I pass. I really need to get these assignments done or I will not be in a good position. I miss ms trager and my other teachers Id really like to go back and see a few of them. Man life has been on a somewhat up lately and now im reaching that all to familiar slight dip before things turn shit for a little while so hopefully that isnt the case and I can continue to be happy. I need to plan some more outings for me and friends to go riding but it seems odd like I dont want to its kinda like durianrider says with you cant try and change people who dont want to change Im just gonna sell james my bike for 10$ or something he can have it I got my use out of it. The cannondale I think Im just going to give to my i dont even fucken know who that shit fucked my plans up pretty big time I might just put that on hold because I really didnt think it was gonna come out to be like this if I sell james my bike for 10$ as is he can prolly ride it for another 2 months to 4 months but knowing him hes just gonna fuck that shit up in a couple weeks so whatevs if he takes 10 Ill give it to em if not Ill see what phil will take.

This weekend is looking pretty good but I do need to get on my Asian studies shit asap because if I dont Im fucked I got this though hell ez. This year was good I wish I was more social and talkitive. I tell myself Ill get to it but I feel as though I will do what I always do. I need to focus on my work right now before I focus on social stuff but thats exactly what I criticize my friends for so yeah. My ttb list looks good I am excited to be getting the things Ive been wanting they are coming together. I finally put some time into the guitar today it felt good. I wish that I had a good portable sewing machine I feel as though I would have so many uses for it I mean I could get good needles and thread and sew it myself but a good machine would make it so much easier I wonder what the alteration places charge. Im glad I got my jersey embroidered but it seems to be only good for hot weather. It was sorta chilly today with the rain and all. I know the end is going to sneak up on me quick its crazy Its over already it always goes by slow and then at the end feels fast.

Today was a good day, I enjoyed it. Got to cycle and chill, got some groceries and have a full day tomorrow. I hope I pass Asian studies Im so ready to dab it up once im done with school. Bouta be so hype. Met some good people and had a good time today getting out and talking. Found some good sites too and been working on the things I want to. I have seen the way of a yt god and know what it feels like. Joey has changed the way I look at durianrider but at the same time it doesnt change the way I loom at his advice. People have flaws and thats ok but one thing i will say is I know I will never let myself join a cult. Tomorrow is going to be a great day and Im going to finish my essay tonight. Strayt Esee. Seth is a good dude. Montana of 300 is strayt fire. I need to put those beans on for tomorrow night I hope my fig does well one of these times im gonna write one of these in front of my big fig tree. I also hope they dont sell or throw away my bike that I give to them.

Life has been lately, family and friends, going places and having fun. Summer is here and the weather feels great. Im happy to be alive and have a good support system. Ive been working towards my goals and looking for hapiness in all the wrong places. I knew where hapiness came from but I was to blind to see I had been looking for it in all the wrong places. Kenya showed me that, I want to spend more time with him and learn and grow. These motivational videos have been helping me alot getting me to do things I wouldnt have. I blew away my responsibilities and paid the price with that fig I hope it recovers, if not it was a valuble lesson. I had hate in my heart yesterday and could have thought about different situations but I let something ruin my mood. I worked through it with the help of my friends and it felt good. It seems as though the work has just started on my vegan work as well as the convention and potluck and other things Im working on. When winter comes I hope to still be able to cycle and feel good even with the rain. Those books I got are a good kickstart into reading again, Im so glad I went to the library I never knew it could be such a resourceful place to work on myself I need to go more often. Ive been pretty undercarbed today, I want to go see james. I still have to take tyrese to school today so it will be good to see him. Ryan and Kayla are pretty cool. It was nice to see Jarren again it had been so long since I had seen him. I need to work on my writing skills so I can be a good journalist. Its not something that I want to do as a job but I want to at least be able to do these interviews for the channel. I hope Jo rides that bike at least with me and can carb up enough to enjoy it. I want to see him again hopefully soon.

Lifes been pretty good lately, Im just waiting for that downfall though so I can be happy through it I feel like. Cause when the shit gets tough thats when you gotta stay happy. Its easy to stay happy when things are going good. I hate that I get caught up in dumb shit, It always bout you and thats what I gotta remember. Im grateful I found these motivation videos. This dentist shit is fucked but Im happy I was prepared. My skin is starting to return to normal somewhat That piece of metal is still in there though it hurts less though. Oh yeah. Movies are kind of shit I knew that though I always test things again just to see. Im so ready to organize my room some more. Todays monday I think. Im so happy my bike is getting near done Just a light and thats it. Ooh my plants are staying wet atleast thats a plus. That armada book was trash I should have brought it with me to return I guess on the way to tyreses again Ill bring it along with the shorts to try with the belt. This gardening shit is going good it has taught me patience as well as to look at signs of need in plants. Im bout to destroy this math class in winter quarter. If I dont take it then I will need to work harder. Be scared and do it anyways. I need to talk to uncle william about that side garden extension. Im glad I didnt waste my money on that master gardener bullshit I kinda knew it would just be better to just go online for the info. I wonder how jos doing I need to text him. I hope to go to that vegan potluck. If not Ill go to grandmas. I feel like im waiting to focus on something thats why it feels odd I feel like I can be happy but I just dont feel like Im doing it right. I wanted to dislike wonder woman but it was actually a pretty good movie aside from all the modern day joke bs. It feels good to be selfless, but to a point. I enjoy helping people and seeing their reactions or just enjoying knowing that I helped someone. It is OK for your life purpose to change. right now I want to be the best damn gardener possible to provide for me and my family. Putting aside my bike and shit and my accesory items I would like to go learn from some gardeners but the internet is the best way to do that easily but a bike trip would be cool to. I really want to get some mile in with those clip ins super glue would be nice for the cleat recess problem and the insole shit. Leo babatua really helped me change my life aswell as dr and mark manson. The self help type shit has some shitty areas and i feel like it turns away many and is different for everyone to work but if done in a way that is sustainable it feels really good and is tremendously helpful. Winco car mat book aunt cornell. This was a good journal for today.

Wadup biggun, this week has been a hell of a ride eh? ahh man another one of those growth phases I think Ima fuck off the unicycle for now its not really worth it imo. I felt like a dick today. Finally got my saturdays freed up. And I think I somewhat get what jo was on about with what he was saying it is annoying as fuck to hear people talk about shit you dont want to talk about. Seths cool but he has his moments. hmm. K rino is pretty solid hes helped me through these ruts. Gardening is going well I think It feels nice to learn as I go and see the garden respond. I hope to use some of that yard mulch as compost and get some real dirt mix for starter blocks. Most of the stuff I have gotten from etsy has been good quality and good stuff I really like that place. also I am glad to have gotten cheyanas number on my own and be growing. Not every chick you talk to you have to date. Life has been good lately hitting a few snags though. I want to reach out to some of my friends but I feel the ones I try to talk to are busy hella. Been working on myself alot lately. My brother has just been defending himself mainly but he and alot of my family are running themselves into the ground and thats hard to watch but my grandma did have a point sometimes you gotta love em from a distance. Guitar has been good, I stopped working on ASL but I still feel I could pick it up. I want to get back to a little bit of weight lifting. There was some bomb ass flights to chiang mai for only 632$ easy! Its gonna be light work to move out if necessary most of my shit is getting donated and the rest is getting packed and is ghandi like mahatma. I dont know if Id take my guitar though it could be good it would be heavy. How tf do people keep track of their shit when they are homeless. My goal is to get all of my gardening shit on that right side and then have my shade shit on the left. I need to get some multitools. fucken ell lea michelle kind of reminds me of sia.

Life is good, been doing it big and feeling good I need to look into to being more spiritual and work on my business. Texting people is good.

feeling sort of scattered lately, been focusing on alot of things, the garden really isnt my thing anymore but for this last year im here im going to do my best to grow the plants. I mainly want to focus on guitar and cycling and veganism. I cant let the sunk cost fallacy get to me Im debating whether or not I should keep gardening I think Im just gonna plant and use everything I have and then just be done from there. I got more than enough use out of that red bike and I think Im gonna sell it to james for 10$ or josiah or jonte. I spent somewhat of alot of money today but I think it was worth it for the most part.

Today was good got to go on a ride with uncle william felt good in the legs. Yesterday was a fucken blast golf and carts was hella fun. That is a nice lil date place. Im grateful that tyrese took me out to do that and that I got to spend time with friends for my birthday. I am excited to work at goodwill and be able to work towards my goals aswell. Family is great. I want to communicate more with others and work towards my goals I feel as though I am not reaching my goals for what I want to do it just seems unfulfilling but I know that god has a plan for me. I am excited to have these spiritual jam sessions. I dont feel like training today. Im going to stick to this donut business for a little bit.

We are into a new jam up dammit, I didnt think I would have another job this early, hopefully I can save up some money and make it out of here before they steal my soul. So much of my time is going to be unmonetized hopefully I can find a way to monetize it. Im still feeling unfulfilled in the things that i do sometimes.

I Like I Wish I Wonder

I like that I did the ironman, and have been learning alot lately I am excited to learn more and keep a pmar. I am also ready to develop a better relationship with god. I hope that I can become more organized here soon and stay on the righteous path. Ive been feeling really cluttered lately. I wish that I would Have completed the ironman and been communicating more. I wonder what I will be like in a few months or where Ill be.

I like that I have been working more on my business lately, I have been feeling really good lately summer has been amazing. I am excited to get a car and put it to the best use possible. I need to work on a plan for when I quit goodwill. i need to work on my social media pages. They need to provide as much value as possible and not just be places where you sell shit. I am grateful that I got to go to sol duc again and was able to talk with hunter and kenya. Hunter is a cool dude. I wish that I couldve made at least a sale on the 26th but thats why were making 3 today. I wonder how well todays sales will go and where I can take this business long term. will I master persuasion? these bikes should be light work to get off me. gon be a bitch tho to ride over there I should have them meet me.

Ended up taking a loss on the bikes whatever though fuck it, Been in a rut lately work is draining the shit out of me I hope I have enough money for these bikes and this backpack. I been pretty reckless with my money again once i got this job but After this road and mountain bike and backpack I am going to be done buying things for james the pack is for me though. I have been working on phasing in new clothes and changing my body and look I like where its going I dont feel vain. Were back into gloomy and coldness for another while it seems soon. I wonder how much I need to travel buy invisalign and a powermeter those are the main things I want to do. It seems like about 5000 which i dont know if Ill be able to get hell quick.

Thought I was tied down hell hard but nope hah, fuck all dat mess. Never tied down bro no debt. The rent would be alot harder to stay out. Bro life is what you make it. My paradigm was fucked My goal is to turn the world vegan and I dont know how to do that and be happy at the same time its tearing me apart but If i aint tied down you cant break my spirit. I get hell gd up and then I procrastinate wake up late and do nothing its a shit cycle I need a routine for when I wake up late. Or a brightline to help. Like If I got back into squats and did twice the reps if I woke up late. I hope I can bring myself to ride in the winter and Ive come up with a plan I can work for 6 months with the car and then take it off.

You are a beautiful soul, there is noone else like you, greatness lies within you waiting to be called on and realized. You must work at it and develop it. Nothing worth having comes easy. I appreciate you and all you do.

sorta gd up finally went to bed at least somewhat earlier and I was able to wake up and not be hell tired. Idk what the exact thing is thats helping me not be tired maybe its the sleep. The pizza and cinnabon was way better than the donuts and tacos,

Im afraid that I wont do anything with my life but If I did what I wanted to do what the fuck does it matter, I enjoy working on bikes with and for friends. I enjoy eating tasty vegan food and finding quicker ways to make it.

time for art morning, time for boxing/muay thai morning, time for hygiene morning

Well we dropped sovvaz but that was a while ago, irrelevant now. Work is half misery half waste of time. I havent been reading as much as Ive wanted. I may just do a garden next year but the dirt needs to be good for it. I feel like there is no challenge in the things I want to do I feel like its all been figured out. If me and tyrese run a vegan gym with a velo/ track, lounge for study, basket ball/ badminton and soccer/ football court, and then sell a little merch/ food on the side and have an office room area for meetings maybe it could be a small investment project or my office. so what that doesnt sound challenging to me in the long run what complex problems would I run into. I will commit for a few days to draw out a plan and think about how it would work

I think that enjoying yourself and travel is a good thing and especially if you spread the vegan message whilst you do it. I would like to challenge myself to become the best in the world at one thing, I will explore my interests to find this thing and develop it. ZB is my favorite artist so far.

Lately Ive been excited and stressed to the max, holy fuck man. She is just hmmph something else man, I know they say that you shouldnt get attached and shit man and Im just waiting for her to say I have a boyfriend or for me to fuck it up some how bro. I glad to have family that cares I treat them like shit sometimes and I take just about everything for granted man. I am more lucky than I will ever know. Im grateful to have it all and I know in the blink of an eye it could all go away. I live to fucken cycle man I need some new routes or just to get out there and fucken slog it I need to carb up and just pick a day to city ride and gas it bruv. I love talking with friends and being an ear and letting out some steam myself. Goodwill had a good lil run, it was better than winco but It just wasnt the best. I am not excited to fuck up my endocrine system with these late nights but, hopefully that will be able to change soon enough Im hyped to hit the gym and work on the weights again as well as keep the cardio good I like to do the weights to keep my muscules a lil toned with the cardio. Im still working on this food setup with the meal planning its been getting easier. Im so glad to have finally met a vegan chick that I have a chance with. School is scaring the shit out of me. Im glad I went to the court it was a good time. This anxiety with the unorganization is getting worse I almost had a panic attack and had to htfu lol not really im not gonna claim that but It is just a weird feeling I have been having Im just really excited and its because of her. I sound like a fucken eugene but I really hope we can at least be friends that sounds hell beta cuckish but she is stunning.

hw, workout, call deandre

race,bike will,

I like that this job interview went well and that I met a cute vegan chick

I wish that I the la shift ended earlier and that I worked out more often

I wonder what it will be like when Im 30 where will I be

Lately been doing well

Finally got the fucken flash briefing done,

I wonder what the himartia of oneitis is, Mia is beautiful girl, shes nice vegan and seems ambitious. I hope we can at least be friends. Im excited for this wrestling season and im not going to let that bullshit negative attitude I allowed before to get me down. Im happy to have family and people I care about around me. I dont know how to get around alot of the flaws I see I guess you just have to not care or try and get past them. Highline is going to fly by i already know it and Ill be graduated sooner than I know it. If La falls through its kinda fucked but Ill be on as soon as i need be. I would like to communicate with my friends more.

Been pretty happy lately, just outchere doing it big on eem. I want to have another vegan dinner with family and friends again, thatll be next check with the battery cap , Im going to hold off on the headphones for now the wired ones are fine. Spring is coming up real fucken quick I will hopefully be ready to move out. Vasectomy is top priority though. Then Thailand then moving out . I need to start saving harder. Social media has been going well you now I enjoyed i just stopped getting on it. maybe Ill get back on. I feel like Im doing alot of things that dont tie in to eachother lets see. I think I might start creating some surveys for the public. Flash briefing, Thai, Psychology

Got fucken destroyed at the open mat today and fucked my knee a little bit ooffh that was fucked. Weighed about 142 though so might be able to hit 138. I gotta stay focused man and work my best. Put my heart and soul in it. Vegan Psychology, security work, Thai, Travel by bike, I am grateful for everything I have in my life. I think I need to realize that not everyone wants help in the way that I try with their problems they want to work on it and feel like it was their idea. I think that I should try durianriders idea of emailing my mom and dad mrsjbelle@aol.com and kseawac@aol.com every day or week about veganism same thing with tyrese . Have the family nights and the chill times. Family and community is my top goal for veganism, that works best with the pragmatic approach. I think the vegan umbrella has potential just not how its presented by vc. These journals really help me.

The world is an inherently fucked up place there are a few sparks of good here and there but suffering and pain are like pervasive pernicious anemias that infect our beautiful planet with a negativity so great that those who dare to try and change it themselves either die positive or live long enough to become negative. We are born with a good heart but as we age and come to see the world as it is we figure we can take advantage of it in a way that lets us win. Live and it live is the standard that is the golden standard yet everyday there are those who find it necessary to impose their will on others without express permission from the victims. That in and of itself is the problem with the human race. As the motivation ebbs and flows I find myself lost in the sickness of it all.

I am going to start working on event planning movie nights, board games, open mic night

I like the idea of events with vegans and other non vegans and working towards more vegan, other forms of activism, including social media and individual connections, I dont like the cube types of activism for me or the up in your face I would rather have vegan potlucks and movie nights and board game nights. I feel like my why is to broad.

I think about finding a second part time job but I think that if Tyreses business got off the ground far enough I could work with it. I dont like micheals that much but I think Ill live. I usually end up doing nothing with my days I think about hanging out with friends but I feel like alot of the time their too busy I might start asking different people, I think about riding my bike but it be too cold. I feel the need to work every second but I dont know where to put that energy. If my goal is to make a vegan world through individual connections I need to define what kind of connections I want. Do I want to know a designer who can help me put up tags to make people think? I need to make a list of the people I want to connect with and go from there. maybe work with cheyana to create a lemon animation

I kinda knew he was kidding, anyways it doesnt really matter that much I guess. Im glad I finally fucken got out of there it went by quick but not at the same time. You kna mean? Fucked my hand and shoulder up at the tourney, shit was fucked. Trc is gonna go hard is light work I need to keep getting my stuff as low as possible before thailand. Thats also fucked though because ticket prices are climbing and I am worried they arent coming back down. I dont really know about going to ewu but Ill probably just end up learning what I want to learn online I ll look into cj more outside of college. College seems appelaing somewhat but I think Im romanticising it too much. School is going alright so far. I think for now Im just going to focus on 2 people I want to talk to brett and klara but brett is being odd and klara hasnt responded yet so we will see. Im fucken hyped for this presto pot and hand held water pik bouta be lit. I think Im going to work on hanging out with james and tyrese once a week and Im going to try brett once more after that no more. I had so much more to say and I forgot it. were going hard on this.

I love ticklespark so much her smile is heartwarming and her voice is as soothing as the zephyrs that drift across the Aleutian summers night sky. I am excited to work on my school work this quarter and put videos out. I think its best to find a simple routing for things instead of trying to elongate them I wanted to make like a recipe site that had a bunch of vegan recipes but everyone is looking for something different whether it be gourmet or cheap budget so its best to give them guidlines they can follow and monetize where you can and if you cant you look elsewhere. some folks where born made to raise the flag. oo that red white and blue senior night was a blast gonna miss these fools. Lol this mate thought I was a australian. Fuck I gotta work on marine bio shit and writing

All I had to do was comment and I got my grade up thats light work. Highlines going pretty easy this quarter so far. Im ready to graduate and enjoy thailand and work on trc. Bouta film this commentary piece, I wish I could remember some film ideas. But the headphones is hell good. Maybe we can make this century a tradition in the collins family I hope so. If I go to goodwill from 2 weeks into february and work 25 hrs a week I could do this so lets fucking get it. If I can hit up books ill be happy just bring lunch and my headphones and hit the fucken work Ill be lit. take my breaks and do my job. Music and other forms of expression I feell are not something people should step away from. I want to be able to classify the difference between neccessiteis and passions that must be chosen so far music art health and fitness are ones you cant close the door on. Right now Im focusing on trc, work, and school. Im going to get back into guitar. I need to make a nononsense item for the bike that is good to use. or I could just offer hacks and bodges that work with existing stuff and sell the existing stuff. If I could find it somehow.

I really hope my shoulder isnt fucked longterm. If I can go to arizona after thailand do postmates till september then head to arizona. maybe embroider jersey and jacket. use peugeot for commuter. Ride study costco with james. Ride when the sun comes out try and go to costco soon study when we can. I really dont want to buy this ebook but I just gotta fucken do it I got three things I want to buy the presto daring greatly. bring cards with me maybe somehow probably pack them in my cards. and always stay safe my friends. I love nostalgia culture its just fucking so enthralling and it makes me feel amazing in such an indescribable satiating way. Ive finaly got a recipe system down and its working a treat. k. pecans. Ticklespark is so beatiful and amazing. I love her. I need to start working on those kyphosis excersises to help my neck and posture. I know my shit is fucked. maybe i could get a second lock for my bike to help me feel safer. Life is good. Theres always little bits of songs I have love hate relationships with but I think the love is worth the hate. Ive been really good at consolidating lately. I feel so stalkerish gotdamn why cant I just find a girl and be normal and have a relationship with them. I have no regrets. Im definitely gonna get my jersey and jacket embroidered its only like 20$ and I can use the money that I save on my presto pot and then ill just buy the book. I need to do a little more cleaning and consolidating. Im going to go back and ask about the one shifter. Writing is so comforting I like prompts I think ill start another short story here and then call it a night. for writing anyways. As marie slowly walked across the terrace, floreon couldnt help but be entranced, she floated effervescently and stepped as soft as the night zephyrs that kissed the skys alluring purple blue hue. This story is shit not really in my wheelhouse but well continue. Floreon had watched marie for a millenium and could hardly wait he knew that if he waited long enough marie would finally come around for the first time floreon had approached she didnt seem to enjoy his company. Maries long brown hair carresed her shoulders like a smooth waterfall of chocolate silk. Thats it folks

Ive been not doing my work lately I need to get back on that. I gotta leave soon dammit. I want to do some volunteer work but I think Im deluding myself for every hour of volunteer time I want to do Ill donate 50 cents so 2 bucks a month to cupids landing. just fucking bite the bullet. I could start now and then continue with my job Ill do this until I volunteer. Create the cupids landing art if I dont procrastinate

I already am starting to get behind on 205 dammit, JJ is pretty chill, I wish I had people to ride with, I want to clean my room up some more and maybe pack and see how much junk I have to haul when I move out. My fucken body is aching a little bit. lately my morning routine has been cycle eat cook hygiene. I want to incorporate hw in there somewhere and also yt after. Start packing a snack to goodwill if I work less than 5 hrs maybe some oats or a bagel.

Approaching in from the corner we have race marshal kitty kitterson, This is sircones first crit since 2017, hes riding the peugeot black n blue 2009 model and vittoria corsas. Sircone is the best rider on the west side of shiny side road. His first ride on this course was back in 2016 when bircone beat him out for first place with a sub 20. This year sircone is aiming to not only beat bircones sub 20 but maybe even hit sub 18. Which bircone managed hit on this course a few days ago. as sircone makes his way down the road hes on sub 18 pace. Hes got to keep this form if he wants to take the win this is usually where he drops off. Can he pull through? his form is spectacular it looks as if hes floating on the bike hes like the light skinned version of chris froome making bircone look a fool. here he comes in the aero tuck and omg its a miracle hes hit a sub 14!

Commentary done m8

Little bird Little bird. I love lullabys. through my window sugar lump. Maybe a collective etsy shop where profits go towards cupids landing. Have designers design tshirts and drop ship. Fucking perfect right zere m8 Trippy chidi is actually kinda lit. I want t record some more. lets do some lyrics

Uncle Will Training Plan

So ready for the season to be over itll be done soon enough. Ive got to come up with a nutrition plan for our training and the day of 2 mango peach smoothies, leafy green pineapple salads, for dinner carbohydrates and good sauce. Have gummis, dates and canned fruit and sugar water for snacks. Smoothies for training. For our lunch have some sort of sandwiches and cookies for desert. Have a good dinner the night before and hydrate immediately in the morning. For brekkie have a mango peach smoothie

Smoothie snacks lunch and salad snacks recovery smoothie

do an easy rice dinner the night before with lettuce tomato strawberry

8 training sessions build up 2 mile increments towards buckley

Art is extremely important to help us express ourselves and feel good, exercise is important to stay fit and be healthy, hanging with friends and family is important to stay mentally healthy.

Fucken hell sia has such a beautiful voice. I dont know why I cant bring myself to buy a water filter. I feel pretty good this morning, those bananas made me feel a little weird at first but thats better now. I want to see if my grandma can ride a bike. But for breakfast Im thinking, bagels cereal smoothie or banana as options and maybe homemade yohgurt as an option to. Gardening is a form of meditation and art for me.

Ill probably sell my s5 after I get settled in with the s8 I need to reupload my fridge pics and find some more stuff to sell. Its weird how when you need the money shit just comes up real quick and all of the sudden you can make it. I wonder how I can keep this drive up. Fucken hw is staggering man. I cant wait to do postmates. Maybe for the rental house we can do a thing for when Im gone in the winter some one else is there and then when I come back I get back my room. we could do a 6 month lease type deal and then when summer is back we cut off the rental for me. Idk well see. It was kind of dumb of me to get my stages wet thankfully it held up alright so far. Ill prolly part out and sell the peugeot and then just have the cannondale and norco. I might even sell the norco by this summer if necessary. Well see.

Individulia a land where everyone can go and be themselves, where noone has to worry what others think and the world spins as we go on about our lives. Where expression is the norm and we dont have to hide our true selves from those we care about. The masks we put on are useless because the truth isnt taboo.

Im excited for the future bouta carb up and work on some hw and get shit done. I cant wait to get back to vigorous exercise. Im am grateful my shoes came today. I hope I can hang out with cheyana and sierra this summer. I want to organize and get rid of more, Im grateful I found more criminal minds episodes. Fuck m8! I dont want to continue to help people who dont want to help themselves. I love having community. I think I want to be in control too much which is why I feel like I dont have community I didnt make it so its not mine but the variety of people that I have enjoyed time with are my community peeps and that feels good, I even sort have a friendship with some of them. Im enjoying it so far. not everyone has to be a vegan cyclists I can cycle with certain people and have community with others.

Gods plan goes so hard Im going to buy crushing it and daring greatly and principles here soon enough. Ill do the laundry maybe tomorrow and try and get my speech started. I hope I can get it done in time. I may do a beta test with the low clothes gains well see. Hunter was smart with the paint plan it sounds so fool proof, a good back up. Hes generous. The selling clothes thing is a load of shit I think customizing your own clothes is cool but let other people buy or do what they want with their clothes. Im looking to change the world not sell some clothes. I love wearing a hood it makes me feel so comfortable. Theres no fooken way all the goodwills are full. I really should be studying. Midterm was light work. Speech Paper 13th year plan are my main jigs right now but were only focusing on the speech until later and then Ill work on the outline to turn that in tonight. fuck.

Alright Im gonna write and then maybe do a video and start my work.

I wonder how this critter id is going to go, good thing I remembered to do the discussion before 12. im really more into vr and ar and using those with voice but those content ideas I had I really liked Small voice pushes could work with the vr ar connect , water and breakfast could be done while I work. ar idea was vegan labels for each restaraunt and grocery store people pass with little v symbols next to them. samsung gear vr and gear watch.

Life is going good, and its going to stay that way Im not going to let bullshit negative self talk get to me fuck that. There will be no more downs Im going to make the most of it all and enjoy doing it.

Today was a good day, work is going good Im able to work on my social skills and find good deals this bike is selling a little slow I might repost it and lower the price a little bit, I have not been doing enough social media content just gotta keep documenting. Thankfully school is almost over. Thailand 2 weeks arizona 2 weeks australia after that once I get enough money. check out uber eats scene in az

Bike Dogma: And We Are Not Talking Pinarellos

a large problem that i dealt with when i was getting into bikes was that I was broke and i couldnt afford even a low end version of the bike I wanted which at the time was a Norco valence. I thought I had to have the newest nicest bike with all the bling I could afford which at the time was limited to disc brakes and a carbon fork, and who I am I kidding that is about all I can afford now! As time went on i was introduced to newer bikes, older bikes, low bikes and high bikes. Triffles and tri trikes. But I was still stuck on the Norco valence I just had to have it. there was something about the allure of a brand new high end road bike that i couldnt part with. i was also enammored by the geometry and frame style. I had had this information pounded in me by Durianrider aka Harley on Youtube and I didnt want it any other way. Right up until I was told I couldnt have it. You see I was afforded the opportunity on a large discount on my bike purchase but the norco valence was out of stock and my discount wasnt going to last long so I was reluctantly prodded and poked by my co worker to seize my opportunity for a 2017 Norco Search instead of a 2017 Norco Valence. So I did and what can i say it doesnt work? It fell apart whilst I was riding it?! no none of that is true but it wasnt what i wanted and it took a little while to get used to but I stopped wondering what i had missed out on only a few months later and now i dont give a rats ass what i ride as long as its functional and suits my style of riding. And one last tip for all you DIY'ers out there if you have a bike you dont like, within reason you can supe it up to fit your riding style. If youve got an old cannondale roady maybe throw an adjustable stem on there for comfort or get a bigger casseste so you can keep your cadence up or if youve got a mountain bike put a road wheelset on there(Not advised- any and all injuries due to advice taken from here is on you) Aside from all the jimmy riggs out there that sorta work you can always customize the bike you have to fit your riding style so dont hunker down on one give some other bikes a chance and compare as necessary.

Work on

Flash briefing and show creator list

Trc real estate

Phil trail recommendations, mechanic advice, installation specials, referral points 5% off bike purchase

Hunter Lawyer comedy, old comedy ,, Dan and hunter show

N and J where does food come from?

Forrest book of the week and your thoughts and takeaways

Hunter and Dan show the felonius lawyer

Mel Robbins Countdown done

Jos Birthday get bars switched and shifters on there, take him out to eat, go on a ride, watch tremors together surprise party and cake. celebrate on sunday or saturday

Go see jo, hang out with nicole, ride with hunter, , finish paper finish 13th plan mt or w with james had a nice ride today about 30 miles with hunter and a cafe stop which was terrible. Gotta do that 5 lawn thing and then work next weekend. also maybe hang with nicole hopefully.

Today was a good day, I got to plant my plants tomorrow, I need to come up with a route and schedule for thrift flip. friday relias day?

Vasectomy 1 month in advance, arizona trip first see granddad? Then thailand and then postmates if i cant afford aus

EWU

Voice and ai and ar, cinematography and film studies, gardening,

criminal justice w/ some film classes

Finally got my ticket and passport and everything I need now I just need to save up for the vas and food plus accommodation I want to have about 1500 for aus but I wont have that much if I

A Young french film making student heads to new york for a film project and explores an old museum where a murderer hides in the shadows who has been killing for years in the quiet sanctuary of the museum mainly homeless people who he turns into art and finds solace in enjoying the bugs.

Make video

Fuji Gang Lil zert yah fuji gang ooff

Fuji gang fuji gang fujiFuji gang fuji gang fuji gang spent 3 racks on a new chain My bike like ride terrain I ride a trail and forget its name I aint buy a bike no wrap a wrang rather go and buy gummi mane. Fuji gang fuji gang fujiFuji gang fuji gang fujiFuji gang fuji gang fujiFuji gang fuji gang fujiFuji gang fuji gang fuji gang spend 3 racks on a new chain My bike like ride terrain I ride road and forgot its name I aint buy a bike no wrap a wrang rather go and buy gummi mane fuji gang fuji gang fuji gang My bike cost more than ya rent yo friend still ride with a tent yeah

I am fooken hyped for this summer its about to be so lit. If I do the back yard party with some music and a little bit of food with some lemonade or other drinks and then have yard games. Do jo's as prep for mine, do some grilling with vegan hot dogs and burgers and bread and lemonade for drinks. chips kettle ofc. cake for dessert. Have yard mowed for bday mason jar lights on plum tree and string lights on fence long table for food circle table for drinks and radio I think food drinks and music is enough If i think of any games than i can incorporate those.

Facing some procrastination hurdles again I just need to sit with it and face the work and feel the emotions but work through them, sitting down at the table helps. its gonna be weird getting used to this keyboard but I think it will help my neck work has been good, I can work on my people skills at work. and I enjoy it no matter how busy it gets because I can practice patience and gratitude.

Im glad I got that work done today for jazz I need to check and see if theres anything else for tonight. Im still deciding whether to go to ewu or arizona before thailand. I want to go to arizona to see grandpa ollie but I dont know if ill have enough. Life is so good right now im not letting nothing take me down. I love that hat it makes me feel so good. Wrestling is part of my success, 4.0 gpa my freshman year. I was inducted to the honor society I was awarded the presidential academic excellence certificate. I have been working with my cousin to build our landscaping business and we have been steadily gaining clients.

The morning can be reserved for writing and exercising and I guess in the process of writing I can check my social medias and reserve about 30 minutes for writing and getting ready. From when I wake up. I normally spend a bunch of time doing nothing and then get up and try and accomplish stuff before I leave. Today is a crucial day for hw and I need to write it down in my journal. I think Ill buy my ticket for Australia before my vasectomy money. I ve been feeling really good lately just been struggling with hw I need to get back into my non pro groove. and writing down helps that, breakfast time and write down to do. The norco is going to be my strava bike and the cannondale will be my daily driver commuter.

Today has been alright woke up with some back pain, somewhat worrying but I think Ill be alright. I think Ill stick with the same 3 or 4 lifts and do body weight with other platforms. I think the raw till 4 is good but I need to make sure to have good calories before 4. I think that shelf will help me sort the spices. I am so ready for summer. I need a good place to study cj profiles. Injuries have been popping up and persisting lately. I hope they heal up so I can ride consistently. If I had to audit my day today it would be like 5 minutes of work and the rest just doing basically nothing I did some custodial stuff but I havent really been focusing on cj stuff I want to see maybe I can work with Lettic and ask him about profiling and where I can maybe volunteer or intern to. I think that if My plants are doing well everything I bought has sprouted im pretty sure so we shall see what kind of harvests I get this year. They wont be quick but thats not the goal I just want to see progress. I ve been learning alot lately, the main focus on the social side for me is articulation and just being able to say what I mean and say it clearly. Ive been stuck speaking in code to try and conform and now I cant make it out I need to consciously make an effort to be clearer.

Today was a good work day, I did a good job clearing what was necessary. I think a bachelors is good, I need to set up times to make sure nehemiah and jeremiah get help. I am going to see my brother tomorrow. I think a career as a detective wouldnt be bad I could do cj up to. Ill prolly do psych at ewu. They have up to masters so Ill see where i go from there. Ive got to plan for jos party and work on some other things on here

Work on

Im going to stick with the same 3 or 4 lifts and resistance and more hill climbs and regular long rides for fitness, also maybe keep working with rt4 and such. Im going to start with the resistance bands so I can heal my injuries. Maybe ill go by big 5 to get some

Ill prolly get a mtb when i get back whilst I study at Ewu and do my degree and then save up and go get my masters at a cj school somewhere. or just continue to study in the field but if I am already studying may as well do it in school.

I need to work on my relationship with god aswell,

Those are my main focuses for the next months fitness and health, god and CJ

fitness and health, garden, cook, bikes, mindfulness

god, bible and article

CJ,

I will imrpove my cardiovascular endurance enough to be able to run a sub 3hr marathon

I will cross train for running by cycling for at 30 minutes for 4 times a week at 3 watts per kilogram to be able to run a sub 3hr marathon by July 2018.

To do

friday relias day

460 for expenses this month 600 saving goal this month