The Hidiocy of XML Languages

Posted by Uncle Bob on 05/17/2007

I’ve been reading up on some of the newer aspects of SOA, and came across BPEL. It’s another language you are supposed to write in XML. Get ready for a rant.

I’ve had it. What is the matter with these people? How, after all the experience we’ve had with XSLT, Ant, WSDL, etc., etc., could they create YET ANOTHER XML language. Are they dolts? Are they idiots? What gives.

Look, writing in XML is hideous. It’s wordy, it’s error-prone, it’s arcane, it’s redundant, it’s redundant, it’s redundant, it’s… HIDEOUS! To make matters worse, we have been embedding OTHER languages INSIDE this horrible container. EGAD! YIKES! ZOUNDS! FORSOOTH! This is just plain nuts, stupid, idiotic, retarded, poo-poo-headed, silliness!

Haven’t these people heard of economy of expression? Haven’t they heard of YACC? Don’t they know that domain specific languages SHOULD BE LANGUAGES? Don’t they know that languages have specific GRAMMARS?

Besides, have they ever tried to write an interpreter or compiler that uses XML as it’s source? It’s not any easier than writing a YACC parser! Indeed, it’s a lot, lot, harder.

EMBEDDING THE GRAMMAR OF YOUR DSL IN XML IS STUPID!!! DON’T DO IT!!!!!#$#$!!!

I hereby declare a revolt. From now on anyone who considers themselves to be a serious professional must refuse to write another line of XML. When asked, say NO. Instead, write a little YACC grammar that is nice, and small, and translates into that hideous XML. You’ll save yourself GOBS of time if you do! What’s more, if you sell your parser for $5 per download, you’ll probably be able to buy a new boat! Maybe a fleet!

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