Chalkface

Chalkface, 5 August - 12 November 2022 (State Theatre Company SA and Sydney Theatre Company - Adelaide, Sydney, Parramatta and Canberra). Directed by Jessica Arthur.

Catherine plays: Pat Novitsky.

Chalkface is definitely one of those plays we need to see in these strange Covid times, because I thought it was very funny. It was good to sit in an audience and watch talented actors on stage, and just laugh. Laugh at the lines, the delivery of those lines and the actions of the characters.

Pat Novitsky is a 56 year old teacher at West Vale Primary School. It is set in the current day, complete with hand sanitiser and a brief and funny mention of Covid. The staffroom looks tired, as does Pat. From the moment she enters the staffroom at the start of a new school year (just after music teacher Denise Hart, played by Susan Prior, goes to the bathroom with a pregnancy test), Pat is sighing. She grabs a 'World's Best Teacher' mug from the cupboard and goes to the kettle. Inside it, to her disgust, is a cockroach and she tips the empty kettle upside down and squashes the cockroach with her shoe. Once the kettle is filled with water and finished boiling, Pat spoons about five(!) teaspoons of Nescafé Blend 43 (ergh!) into her mug, sighing again. Clearly she thinks it's going to be yet another great school year... not.

During the summer holidays, Pat and friend and fellow teacher Sue Handley were on a cruise, but Sue passed away from a heart attack. No one else from the school turned up to the funeral, which probably makes Pat feel even more bitter. Plus upon looking in her pigeon hole, she sees the school's most dreaded student on her class list, Hurricane Little. When Principal 2.0, Douglas Housten (Nathan O'Keefe) arrives on his bike, dressed in lycra, Pat tries to get him to move Hurricane to another class to no avail. Pat eventually concedes that she'll quit at the end of the year if she can get another teacher to take Hurricane off her hands. Douglas likes this idea because he's wanted to get rid of Pat for a while. He also likes to end a lot of his sentences with a hashtag (#teachersrule). Three more people arrive in the staffroom, rounding out the cast - injured and paranoid P.E teacher Steve Budge (Ezra Juanta), office Nazi administrator Cheryl Filch (Michelle Ny) and new teacher Anna Park (Stephanie Somerville), fresh from university. Bright and bubbly, and perhaps a little naïve, Anna happily says she'll have Hurricane Little in her class, even after hearing a few horrific stories about what the student has done to the teachers.

Some of the best scenes come during Book Week, during which the teachers are dressed in characters from various books, and also a school sleepover, in which the teachers are dressed in their pyjamas (Pat's skeleton onesie was my favourite). A scene with Pat and Anna in their pajamas with strobe lighting was very funny, with Pat at one point eating from the bulk tin of Nescafé Blend 43 (I'm hoping it was actually Milo). And some of the best/funniest lines and facial expressions come from Pat, but everyone at one point or another has good lines too. Cheryl in particular, who uses the P.A system to make announcements ("the undercover area is for eating children only").

There was a lot to like about Chalkface and a lot to laugh at too. It goes for an hour and 45 minutes with no interval, allowing it to have no interruptions. Most scene changes are marked with a spotlight on Denise hilariously doing a little dance and playing an instrument.

Catherine as Pat was amazing (as usual when I have seen plays she's been in). There was a wryness about her, and she definitely has a good knack for comedy. I may see it again when it is in Sydney!

****½