Covid 19 Chronicles

Ruth Goodman

Strange times – College open, cases increasing, people dying – fear, confusion. Have you got it? Have I got it? A cough, a tickle in my chest from nowhere. Is that it? Am I infecting anyone? Fear. The virus of fear. Lockdown – Terrorist Attack – get under tables – hide. This is different. Lockdown – everyone at home. Under attack – virus attack.

Conspiracy theories – debates – various governments reacting differently. Confusion – Prime Minister in ICU. Will he live?

First week working at home. IT not working properly – worrying – am I doing enough? IT supportive, but still the feeling of isolation. Pressure – working, working – how? Email students – yes, I do – no response from students. Keep going – duty of care.

Stressed-out grown-up daughter, who is a midwife. No PPE, partner is at home with children – finding it all hard. I can’t help – I am far away.

Partner moved in with me. Comforting, new – some challenges, both are trying to adapt.

Walking in the woods – sunshine – lots of sunshine – April/May highest record of sunshine. Amazing. Gentle breeze touching my face – the kiss of God. Beauty all around me – bluebells come and go – the fields are growing – the birdsong poignant and loud, cheerful and enthusiastic, full of life. The woods have become green – the colour is striking, sunlight falling onto leaves. Immense beauty and peace.

Juxtaposition. News – death – politicians flouting the rules. Outcry – nothing changes and still, everything is changed. Relationships strengthened – relationships breaking. Children at home.

The weather has turned. Rain – long awaited rain for plants and animals – clouds and greyness sombre the mood. Conflict arising – Black Lives matter – anger spilling onto streets.

Lockdown. How to unlock? How far is two metres? Should I wear a mask?

Bubbling - emotions are bubbling; now we have social bubbles.

Amidst uncertainty, virtual daily yoga sessions. Breathing deeply, breathing through; befriending the body – stretching and breathing, picturing ventilators – chests heaving up and down. Breath equals life – breathing in and out, until no more.