Home Circle Unity

Is it really possible for a husband and wife to avoid dissension? Isn’t it a reality that when two people begin living together that therewill be strong disagreements, contention, (occasional) quarreling, discord, debates and differences of opinions?

This past Sabbath, a matriarchal figure approached me and commented on our “precious little spitfire”. We talked for a little bit about the trials of child rearing and how our children copy what they see in us. The matriarch laughed knowingly, patted me on the shoulder and mentioned how she and her husband were careful never to let the children see them disagree or hear a fight.

I looked at her very seriously, “I’ve always been told that, too. I’ve discovered, though, that we can’t even allow ourselves to disagree; we certainly cannot allow ourselves to fight.” 

The matriarch, and a few others standing close, looked at me as if I were crazy. So I continued:

“Whether the children hear and see dissension or not, the spirit of contention will be in the home. The resulting silent strife still makes its impression on the character of the child and Satan doesn’t miss an opportunity to make us and our children dishonorable to God.”

With that, the little group dispersed; guess you could say "I closed the house down!"

Jesus said: “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).  He also said: “That whosoever is angry with his brother without cause shall be in danger of the judgment… but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matthew 5:22).

Jesus has instructed all His followers to be merciful (Matthew5:7), to have compassion and forgive the wrongs of others (Matthew18:21-35). Yes, Christians know to do this; but shouldn’t parents make every effort so their home circle can be a sampling of Heaven?

Husbands and wives should be daily praying that God will sanctify their thoughts, words and deeds. There is no need for us to be overcome with evil; Christ has made it possible for us to overcome (John16:33). He is able to save us – even from our irritations, frustrations and anger (Hebrews7:25). And, if willing to let go of these, the home will be spared the spirit of dissension.

Mothers and fathers, strive for unity in Christ. Inculcate the principles that governed the life of Christ and dissension will be driven out. Peace will reign; the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians4:7).

Today, make a solemn promise to God that by His grace you will not disagree amongst yourselves anymore. The secret of true unity is union with Christ. Seek for that unity – “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew5:6).

© 2010, C. Gillan Byrne


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White, E. G. (1954/1982). A Sacred Circle (Chapter Title). In E. G. White Publications (Eds.), Adventist Home. Hagerstown, MD: Review and Herald Publishing Association.


Complete Published writings of EGW

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