Holy Humor

Christian One liners:

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.

Church Signs:

Open Sundays – plenty of good seats available.

Prayer less pews make for powerless pulpits.

Questions about heaven answered inside.

God listens to “knee mail"

It can be told in Church:

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for church. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and torn. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!”

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what’s the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”