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Beloved fax machine dies at 5

posted May 11, 2011, 10:30 AM by JackOLanternPress   [ updated May 31, 2011, 9:21 AM ]
SUMMER HILLS, PD---Yesterday, the Cluet family's fax machine of five years died in its sleep. 

The family used the machine just one day prior to fax an important document to their insurance company. Afterward, they shut the machine down for the night, and the next day when they turned it on, it showed signs of illness, and then it was gone. 


Just before it was silenced forever, the machine said, “Vvvvvv-tch-vvvvvvv-tch-vvv” in a last ditch effort to survive, followed by what family members called a dreadful “blop.” 


Memorial services were held in the Cluet's backyard at the Cluet Memorial Trash Can yesterday evening. After Mr. Cluet's lovely eulogy, his 4-year-old son fired a two-water gun salute. 


“We’ve all had a chance to remember the good times we had with the fax machine, but we’ve had to move on,” Mrs. Cluet said in a statement issued late last night. “We bought a fax/scanner/printer/copier all-in-one machine, and life is good again.”