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DOME THINGS: Sink and Brush speak out

posted Nov 23, 2010, 12:34 AM by JackOLanternPress   [ updated Mar 9, 2013, 11:25 PM ]
The lights go out in the bathroom. 

Bathroom Sink waits a few beats before asking Toothbrush, "So, how's it going, Toothbrush?"

"Good," Toothbrush says. "How about you, Sink?"

"Good," Sink answers back.

"Are you just saying that, or are things actually good?" asks Toothbrush.

"No, things are good. Why, Sink, are things not actually good with you?"

"No," Sink says. "Things are good."

Sink and Toothbrush share a moment of silence, then:

"To tell you the truth," Sink says, "I'm kinda gettin' a little ticked with these humans leaving toothpaste all over my handles, all over my basin and all over my counter tops."

"How do you think I feel?" Toothbrush says. "They don't clean the paste or the food particles off me after they're done brushing."

"I wish there was something we could do," Sink says. 

Sink scratches his faucet, thinks, then: "Hey, what if we rebel . . . Break so they can't use us?"

"That's easy for you to say," Toothbrush says. "If I break, they'll just throw me out and get a new toothbrush. The local Ultra Mega Super Box store carries like 50 of me for just $3.99. No thank you."

"That's true," Sink says. "I guess I'd be more difficult to replace with my high price and needing to turn off the water and disconnect all the water lines and such." 

Sink thinks.

Toothbrush says, "Hey, what if we make ourselves really dirty and really stinky? Then they'd have to clean us."

"That's easy for you to say," Sink says. "If I get really dirty and really stinky, they'll use that nasty foamy liquid drain stuff that makes me break out. And I'm not sure I care for that bleach smell either. Try getting a date when you reek of Clorox."

"That's true," Toothbrush says. "I guess I'd just get rinsed off with water, maybe get dunked into that green minty fluid."

"Maybe. But you might get replaced, too," Sink says. "After all, 50 of you guys only cost $3.99 at Ultra Mega Super Box."

Toothbrush and Sink think.

"Well, this sucks," Toothbrush says.

"Yeah," says Sink. "I'm sick of all this damn toothpaste all over me."

"Me, too," says Toothbrush.

Toilet Bowl wakes, joins the conversation. "Hey guys, how's it going?"

Sink and Toothbrush turn their attention to Toilet Bowl, look him up and down. Then they respond honestly.

"We're good," they finally say to Toilet Bowl. "To tell you the honest truth, we're actually really good."