Corpse Carriers on demo at Ultra Mega Super Box
We at Ultra Mega Super Box realize that choosing a casket is a difficult decision to make and ultimately irreversible, and so we've put a few of our boxes on display and available for a quick in-and-out test.
Shoppers have already been lining up around the aisles to demo our hand-crafted Corpse Carriers. Corpse Carriers, founded about a month ago, will become the new leader in death receptacles in the years to come. We promise.
And while Ultra Mega Super Box management allows you to demo all of our products in the store, we remind shoppers to try, not use, anything before purchase. If you choose to use, you will be obligated to buy. Thus, the shopper who died in our coffin display this morning while trying it out is no exception to our rules.
Thanks for your cooperation, and we look forward to serving you on your next visit to The Box.
TODAY'S ULTRA MEGA SUPER BOX SPECIAL DISCOUNT: Lumber Jack's new 4-ply, triple roll toilet paper, just $12.99 for 100 rolls. (This item is currently on demo in the Sundries Department toward the back of the store.)
DON'T FORGET: Ultra Mega Super Box is still looking for a catchy jingle that includes the name of the store in the lyrics. Send all entries to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org.