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Post date: Jun 13, 2010 5:32:13 PM

Can’t sleep.

Tonight at a bar called “Antro,” just around the corner from my hotel, I danced with bar’s the two prettiest Mexican girls, whom just so happened to be sisters. The live band played a couple of songs in English, one of which I recognized to be “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” They sucked but the DJ saved the party by spinning techno-hip hop remixes with some bangin’ rhythms. It was just what the doctor ordered. The girls were respectable types, ie. not sluts, and the even-worse-than-normal miscommunication issue did not deter us from having fun. The other men were clearly jealous that the gringo had stolen the affections of their female crop. They gals kept offering me their Johnny Walker Red Label and Coronas, but I successfully declined without a hint of temptation. I did, however, find myself smoking some cigarettes and partaking of some energy drinks. At least that’s isolated to bars; I’m glad such behaviors won’t follow me around. I haven’t dipped in a couple weeks, so that appears to be behind me. There’s nothing major to accomplish tomorrow/today (it’s 4am now), so it was a good time to get my party on. Villahermosa has the least English-speakers per capita yet, and one might think that would spur me to study Spanish a little more, but it hasn’t. “I’ve survived thus far without studying,” is part of my reasoning, and the other part is that I’m usually more interested in obtaining food, shelter, and transportation. Without a teacher, I think that studying vocabulary will result in minimal improvements. I need to practice oral communication, not visual/reading.

The women here in Mexico are fatter, on average, than most American cities, but I see no discrimination on the part of local men. In fact, it looks sometimes like the Mexican men prefer chunky gals. I am uncertain whether this is because thin women are rare or because the men simply prefer larger women. The American standard of beauty is quintessentially “thin is beautiful,” but I know that historically this cultural standard is not law. Fatness symbolizes plentiful food for oneself and one’s baby, healthy appetite, and freedom from disease. Fertility goddess statues from many cultures represent the fat ideal. Meanwhile, male fertility statues possessed arm-sized penises.

Without dance, this world would be miserable. It took some time for tonight’s audience to get moving, but they loosened up as the alcohol squelched the inhibitions. These folk are not nearly as outgoing or open-arms as the Brazilians. The groups in attendance tonight did not associate very much with the other groups. In Brazil they seem more mingly. Perhaps it’s Villahermosa, not Mexico. Perhaps it is just that bar, not Villahermosa. Many variables, as always. A comprehensive examination, comparison, and contrast of this culture is impossible as a merely inquisitive tourist. Anthropology may be in my future, or perhaps my most recently pondered academic interest, the human-natural environment interface. Specifically, I’m curious about the effects of nature on mental health and quality of life. This could incorporate anthropology, city planning, education, clinical/counseling psychology, outdoor recreation therapy, and more. I could study “primitive” societies contrasted with American urban life. In the Amazon I would like to take a guided jungle trek, resources and time permitting. That would be an outlet for my hands-on learning. I suspect that strict academic research without dirty fieldwork would prove too boring for my tastes. I should just get a job as a professional fisherman. There’s that dang social service and social science part of me that doesn’t want to go away, however, so it seems practical to incorporate that into a career. And Bucky, my father-figure after Dad died, advised me to not make my hobby my job. Others say “Do what you love.” Somewhere is a balance.

Speaking of symbology, especially art- notice that the earliest paintings are not of faces, but of animals like deer, horses, mammoths, and such. Then people were gradually admitted to the portraits. As you progress towards today, art is more and more dedicated to faces, to people in various actions and social statuses. That which most consumes the desires of a people is reflected in art. Art is the expression of one’s desires. It is coping through enhanced perspective of one’s life and livelihood. Art’s original topic was survival. It also functioned as a form of record-keeping and communication; it had utilitarian value beyond that of emotional outlet. Art became more and more superfluous and social and religious.

What does dance release within us? Moving circulates the blood and activates the metabolism, but walking does this also. When did we first dance? Why is it enjoyable? Did dance acquire pleasurable characteristics because it enhanced our survival by way of natural selection? Were dancers more reproductive? Maybe they were just better lovers! I don’t really care. I like to dance, and that’s more than enough reasoning for me.

.... mas tarde... i am now in my third room at this hotel, and this actually has internet reception! May sound small to you, but what a victory! This calls for a dance.