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Raj Gill




From Meeting 2016-05-28



O. Who are you?  What do you do in your day job?

  • I Work with people who want to be heard?

  • I Work as a NVC trainer


O. What is Violent Communication?

  1. Violence is a continuum. People's needs were not met, therefore they use violence. Difficult to get away from hurtful words, so the violence continues. It is not just about physical violence. Giving a silence treatment, is a form of violence. How do I remove from violent words that are going on over and over again.

  2. Nonviolence  is: When I am in peace with myself, in my thoughts and actions.

  3. Lou says,If everything is violent, then nothing is violent. I struggle with that.



Q: what comes to you now about the building the association?




Theme: Issue of value, money and empathy training.

Story:    Some empathy trainers,  actually believe that money should not be part of the process. Anyone can come if they can’t pay. Dentists and other professions don’t  give away their work. This upsets(?) Raj.

Feeling:  upset
Met Need:  
Unmet Need:  

Insight:  

HMW:  How might we as empathy trainers create an image of “professionalism” that lets us get paid in relation to what we offer?



We need to place value on what we do, this training, so that we can make a living doing it. And how we promote ourselves in a professionalism… NVC Trainers think we are being “power over” if we have any rules, any exclusions or certification…. Raj says “we are all equal, but we are equal in different ways….power = increased responsibility, NOT power over. Why not a Chief Empathy Officer in organizations, like you have a Chief Financial Officer. Why aren’t we valued in the way the CEO is valued.


‘Who are the Empathy Trainers?

How do they feel about making money, presenting themselves as having a kind of Power related to what they offer, which is not a “power over.”



Q: yes, like in USA, teachers are not respected as much as other fields, where is in other countries, they have more “value.”


How might we value ourselves as empathy trainers?”


How might we raise the value of empathy trainers in society?”


how do we elevate the role of parenting, then of people who teach parents….the influence on children is so basic to our culture, it should be valued and funded. Funding for education, placed on “emotional intelligence.”



Q: How do you feel about an Empathy Trainers demonstration: “Not leaving until we get funded.”?


First start with ourselves,

overcoming our own divisions….

we need a way to move forward together, not constantly splitting


How might we overcome our own divisions in the empathy communities?

How might we come together in the empathy communities?





Meeting 2016-06-08


Raj Gill

Interested in NVC and Rosenberg. Important to look at mindset and skill set. It is about the being part not just the words.  


Michael    interviews    Raj

I can really hear what people want to say.

Empathy is listening, being with other. It implies avoid prejudices

Association: a place joyful… a place for emotions, energy, excitement, creativity,

We can share responsibility for the world that we want

We can share strategies, to understand objections,

We can ask what is important to you and what would you like us to work on to build a world that works for all



Excited to interview you. What is empathy important for you?

Hear what’s important to others.

Want to be seen for who I am not what other people think of me.

Being with vs. putting your own spin on who the other is. I hear that we’ve set up our organizations to be transactional instead of one based on connection and leveraging what each of us brings to the table. Rather than lead with talking about empathy, do empathy to hear what the other has to offer. Lead by example. Addressing what is in it for everyone and the individual rather than a specific approach or method.



Why is an association important?.

Include more emotional sharing and connection in the work place.

Share more responsibility rather than playing “the blame game”

What is empathy?

When I say I know, I am no longer in the NOW


Why would it be important for form an association?

People bring their optimal Self to work so we can collaborate not just obey or comply.

Bringing collaboration into the workforce is important.

Bring our full self to the workspace.


What would be possible?

What do we say to people who don't’ think empathy is useful.?

I would empathized with them. I would dig deeper. What are your strategies. I’m curious about their objection.

The role of the association could be to come with curiosity.



MEETING 2016-06-22

RAJ GILL

Vancouver, B.C. Marshal Rosenburg, NVC. Self-empathy needed to complete empathy process. Workshops, coaching, mediation. Help others but also understand myself, noticing if I am judging myself, and give self empathy/compassion. Value self as much as other.



Kathy Interviews Raj


R: Embracing diversity is better than narrow def. Embracing diversity how people understand emp. Sometimes people confuse emp and think that too much emp is bad.

The asc. Is not a place for certification. It is place for professionals to collectively have a voice. Speakers can be found in that asc. To speak publicly.


It is about best practices. Looking at behavior and language and establishing best practices. No rules but practi


A place for credible established professional to collectively have a voice.
People can find a speaker to give a voice,

  • Collect best practices

  • introduce best practices,

  • it’s not about rules,

  • it encourages us to look at our languages and best practices in schools,.


K. gives a reflection.

Is there more?

R.  it’s about credibility, consistency, visibility. Not a flash in the pan but a way of life.

It’s an association that has associates.



Task Ideas

  • Connecting before directing.

  • Post a list of tasks


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